Children's hospice nurse speaks about the importance of memory-making for families

Now she speaks out about the importance of memory-making for families and children whose lives are short – as the charity launches its Celebrate Your Star campaign.

“Memory-making starts from the day we meet the family. It can be at the hospice, or in the home, and we will always make memories every day,” says Staff Nurse Joanna Hutton, at Acorns Children’s Hospice.

“Keepsakes mean the world to families, and they can look at those objects and remember, and picture loved ones in their mind. For years down the line it will always remind them of someone they loved and lost.”

Memories and celebrating the lives of lost loved ones is at the heart of a moving campaign at Acorns – and is offering a unique ‘glittering’ keepsake that people can dedicate to much-missed family members or friends.

Celebrate Your Star is asking supporters to make a donation towards the charity’s lifeline care for seriously ill children in return for a beautiful golden star which can be hung on festive trees or around the home to remember those who are no longer with us.

Memories and treasures like these stars, says Joanna, are an important part of the work of that Acorns does when caring for children with life limiting or life threatening conditions.

“Christmas is meant to be the happiest time of the year,” she said. “But obviously, for some families, it can also be the saddest time of year. But with items like our golden stars, they’re like that little trigger to remind them of a moment, or to be able to start a story, to tell someone about that loved one or a memory about them.

“It’s why memory making here at Acorns is pivotal to our care. I know some families who have used hand-prints to turn them into Christmas cards, or keyrings, or baubles that they hang on the tree, and they come out every single year.”

She added: “It can also enable them to share those memories with their wider family and friends. I think that Christmas is a time for being with your family, and being together and remembering those who are no longer with us.”

As she talks Joanna points at a portable popcorn machine, which sits in the corner of a room in the hospice.

“So seeing that popcorn maker, just creates a kind of flashback in time, where I’ve been with kids at the end of their lives,” she said. “It reminds me of siblings throwing popcorn at each other and having a laugh, and of watching films with them here in the hospice and them singing and having fun.

“It can make me emotional thinking about it, but helping to create those memories for families that they wouldn’t be able to get at home makes our job so special and worthwhile.”

Joanna added: “Sometimes it can make me think of sad moments, but it also makes me feel like I’m doing the most amazing job here at Acorns, and gives me a warm feeling in my heart. I feel so very privileged helping to look after these families who come into our hospice and trust us in very difficult times. That’s what that object represents.”

Parents are also thrilled to receive items that have been made by their children, such as paintings, arts and crafts. Families who receive end-of-life care at Acorns are given a memory box, containing hand prints or foot prints, photographs, drawings or paintings, crafts, hand casts, fingerprints, and other items to forever remind the families of a child who has been cared for by the hospice.

Joanna said: “This is time you’re never going to get back. These are the moments we want to capture for you. I know sometimes parents are scared, and they fear the unknown, but I know how grateful families are for those memories after a child has died.

“I think a lot of our families can get nervous about memory making, because of what it signifies to them. But if you’re taking even a small item that your child has made, you have a part of them to keep forever that will hopefully bring happy memories and not sad ones.”

She added: “I feel very privileged to be part of the memory making. I do get a bit choked up sometimes about certain memories that we make here at Acorns, but mostly it brings happy, happy thoughts and we’re so lucky here at Acorns to be part of their lives, however long it is for, to be able to create those moments that families will take with them and remember forever.”

As part of the Celebrate Your Star appeal, Acorns is hosting special celebrations where anyone wishing to remember a loved one can come together to see the collection of stars of remembrance. The events are free and open to all whether people choose to make a dedication or not. 

The final two events taking place are at Bournville Quaker Meeting House, Birmingham, on Saturday, 7 December; and at Henry Sandon Hall, Worcester, on Sunday, 8 December. Attendance is by booking only. 

Ben Gilchrist, In Memory Manager at Acorns Children’s Hospice, said: “By dedicating a star you will help give the children and families who use Acorns treasured memories throughout Christmas and into the New Year – and to keep forever.

“Not only will be be remembering your loved ones, your gift will be a light in the darkness for for the children with short lives who need our lifeline care. Help can’t wait for them, especially at this time of year.”

Acorns Children’s Hospice provides specialist palliative care for babies, children and young people with life limiting and life threatening conditions, and support for their families.

In the past year, the charity has cared for more than 780 children across the West Midlands, and supported over 1,000 families, including those who are bereaved.

This care and support is provided from Acorns three hospices, based in Birmingham, Walsall and Worcester, and in the community.

Acorns needs around £35,000 each day to provide its children’s hospice care, with two thirds of that amount coming from generous donations and fundraising by the local community.

Dedicate and receive your star, or book to join one of the Celebrate Your Star events, by visiting acorns.org.uk/celebrate-your-star.