A handy guide: How to support your child on results day

It’s fast becoming a results day tradition to see celebrities posting on social media about how those collecting their GCSEs or A-Levels need not worry and that, ultimately, everything will work out just fine (looking at you, Clarkson).

But what is often neglected is how to actually deal with your child not getting the results they (or you) expected – being inundated with tweets from mega-successful people saying their results don’t matter in the long run is all well and good, but how do students deal with the here and now? And how do they get the right support to stay on top of their mental wellbeing?

Here, Becky Ward, the Education Experience Specialist at in-home and online tutoring company, Tutor Doctor, pens an expert guide to aid parents in supporting their children if they didn’t get the results they were expecting.

Getting ready for results day

Preparation is key! Results day is a stressful experience for both you and, more importantly, your child. Therefore, it’s important to support your child beforehand, ensuring you’re ready to discuss whatever happens when results day rolls around.

It’s crucial to create a supportive environment for your child straight from the get-go. Start by chatting about expectations and setting clear and realistic goals that your child thinks they can achieve. It’s also beneficial to let them know, no matter the outcome, you’re there to support and guide them – easing their nerves and making them feel more prepared for the day.

I cannot reinforce this enough, but communication is crucial. You’ve seen it a million times: parents with lofty expectations of their child are let down by a bad grade or two, when in actual fact, their child is more than happy with what they’ve achieved. This is why encouraging them to express their thoughts and feelings openly is a great help – sometimes they might need a motivational pep talk – but open-minded discussions can go a long way to supporting them through a stressful time.

Looking at the next steps prior is also a smart move. Take some time to learn about the options available, whether it’s how to appeal against a result, looking into different education pathways, or considering new career opportunities. Having this information at hand will allow you to offer helpful advice, making your child feel confident about what comes next.

What to do on the day

Once the results are in, it’s important to take a moment to process them. Encourage your child to take a deep breath, avoid any immediate decisions and try their hardest not to compare their results with friends. Every student’s journey is unique, so here is where you need to focus on their individual achievements and next steps. If things don’t go as well as planned, have an open and honest conversation about how they feel – let them know it’s okay to feel how they do and that you’re there to support them.

Prioritising their mental health is a necessity on results day – from our own experiences, we know it’s an incredibly stressful experience that can negatively affect their wellbeing. Offer reassurance and be as understanding as you can about their situation. Let them know they’re not defined by their results and, yes, as much as teachers, celebrities and others say on results day, there are plenty of other options out there.

What next?

The results are in and they haven’t gone quite to plan – what do you do next? Here are four top tips I’d recommend doing next:

1. Seek academic support – sit down with your child’s teachers to go over their results. They can offer great advice on retakes, remarks or alternative paths going forward.

2. Look after their mental health – it’s okay for your child to feel down or anxious after not getting what they wanted to achieve. Check out online resources and local services like the NHS or UCAS for support and advice. Recommend healthy coping strategies such as exercise, meditation or talking to trusted friends and family.

3. Explore new goals – start thinking about new goals together. Whether it’s a new academic route or a different career path, every step counts. Make sure you’re there to celebrate progression; even the smallest of wins can make a difference.

4. Stay connected – keep the conversation going about their future plans. Regular chats with you or someone else they feel comfortable with are a great way to keep them on track and motivated to get to where they want to go.

If results day doesn’t go how you or your child expected, then following these tips are a good place to start. Prioritise your child’s mental health during the period immediately after – encourage them to stay hopeful and proactive about their future. Share the links to the numerous resources and support available to them. With your guidance, they’ll continue to move forward – no journey is without bumps in the road!

By Will Coles - Contributor