Move over Mr Nasties – it's more important to be nice
It's nice to be important – but it's more important to be nice, as a wise man once told me.
Some would argue I'm neither of those things, but let's leave Our Lass (as she likes to be called) out of it.
Because it's been a good week to be Nice.
Nice is Nancy winning the Great British Bake-off. Nice is the Pride of Britain Awards. Nice is Jean Martyn getting married.
Nice is good. Nice is hip. Nice is back in vogue.
And not before time too.
I'm getting on my John Major soapbox here, but one of the biggest failings of our day is that we celebrate nastiness. When people – often nano-celebrities or fading sports stars – come out with horrendous statements, we mistake it for individuality.
People who say or do horrible things are allowed a level of forgiveness if it fits their 'character'.
Some have the sole purpose of saying controversial things – in fact it's how they make their living.
Horrendous 'characters' such as micro-celeb Katie Hopkins have emerged. She was horrible on The Apprentice a few years ago and found that people remembered her for it.
Rather than be shattered by shame or embarrassment, she now actually makes a living by saying horrible things. It may pay the bills my dear, but at what cost to your self respect and dignity?
A pal describes Hopkins and her ilk as 'troll bait', which in my day translated as a 'wind-up merchant'.
They're there to say things they don't really believe, just to get a reaction.
It's weak, it's pathetic and it's largely fake – let's hope so anyway, because if these idiots actually believe some of the dross they come out with, I fear for humanity.
Others take the opposite view, playing the 'nice, but dim' card. How many TV shows would Joey Essex get invited on to if he didn't give stupid answers to simple questions?
Of course he can add up, especially when it comes to his appearance fee, I bet.
But it's his 'character' to be thick. It's his schtick, his living, so he plays the fool and people laugh along, like a modern day Norman Wisdom (Mr Grimsdale!).
This week, despite the resurgence in Nice, nastiness has been out in force.
"He's a character, that Kevin Pietersen," someone said, licking their lips with a salacious smile as 'KP' poured a bucket of the proverbial all over the sanctity of the England dressing room.
No, he's not. He's a talented – but not world-beating – ex-Cannock cricketer who comes across as a deeply unlikeable 'character'.
To see this obnoxious, preening peacock portraying himself as some poor abandoned soul at the mercy of his team-mates' mockery takes some believing.
Not that I want to be nasty about it, of course, and he's entitled to have his say.
But it's typical that the likes of 'KP' always see themselves as the victim, no matter how disruptive they are, no matter how many mistakes they make and how many times they let the side down.
Similarly, Roy Keane – who actually was a world-beating footballer – has been dishing the dirt on players, managers and anyone who ever looked at him funny in the pub (in Roy's mind, that's nearly everyone).
But here's the rub; Keane's book seeks to soften his image. He talks about self-doubt, insecurity and implicitly, the need to seek approval from his former mentor, Fergie – the ex-Man Utd manager, not the ex-royal.
I wouldn't go so far as to claim he wants to be nice but, deep down, Roy wants to be liked.
Who doesn't?
One of the joys of the Great British Bake-off was that everyone involved was so likeable; there was no great falling out between contestants and the whole series exuded old-fashioned charm. It was as wholesome as one of Luis' wholemeal rolls.
Strictly works on a similar feel-good formula and it's telling that it beats X Factor's aching insincerity every week. Hopefully the penny will finally drop with TV producers, celebrity bookers and normal, everyday people that you don't have to be nasty to succeed in life – good guys can come first too.
And I mean that in the nicest possible way.