Couples not talking about parenthood ‘means traditional gender roles remain’

Expectations that fathers will work full-time while mothers do the bulk of the childcare – even if they are the higher earner – remain “engrained and unquestioned”, research has suggested.

A small study by University College London (UCL) found a lack of joint discussion among couples tended to result in the perpetuation of traditional gender roles in parenthood.

Clare Stovell, from UCL’s Social Research Institute, said her work found that women were usually the ones to lead the conversations, with little discussion about the man’s work schedule “even in cases where the woman earns as much or more than her partner”.

Reasons indicated in the research included that people still have traditional ideas about gender roles, and a lack of awareness of the need to have pro-active conversations to end up with a more equitable outcome.

Some of the men also told how they felt unsure how to start the conversation without creating tension or encroaching on their partner’s right to full maternity leave.

Ms Stovell’s work, published in the Journal of Family Studies, involved interviews with 25 professional opposite-sex couples – including engineers, teachers and lawyers – in the UK in 2017 and 2018.

She said while such a small sample cannot be taken to be representative of all experiences and while the research findings were some years ago, “take-up of shared parental leave remains low and the indication is that not much has changed”.

She added: “These interviews indicate there are engrained and unquestioned expectations for fathers to work full-time, while mothers take on the primary carer role through long maternity leaves, followed by a reduction in working hours, even where women are equal or higher earners.

“Despite the expectation that couples would discuss and negotiate work-family decisions before becoming parents, these findings suggest that many make these decisions individually, especially women, and often without explicit discussions.”

She said her findings highlight the need for better support for people around awareness of how their working life could change if they have children.

Women and men at the beginning of their careers “should be actively encouraged and supported to proactively plan for changes in their working arrangements in the event of having children”, she said.

She added: “Equally, organisations and policy makers also have an important role to play in providing catalysts for couples to discuss the work-family balance for fathers, including more generous non-transferable leave provision to fathers – ie: an individual entitlement to more than two weeks’ leave – and active support for flexible working.”