Unmarried grieving parents face ‘ridiculous bureaucracy’, MP says

Birthing and grieving at the same time is a trauma which “lasts a lifetime”, an MP has warned in her call to do away with the “ridiculous” bureaucracy which unmarried parents face.

Caroline Voaden described a “fight” which mothers go through to register their partners on birth certificates if their partners have died.

The MP for South Devon, who is a widow, told the Commons on Tuesday that registration relies on an “out-of-date law that penalises people for not being married”.

At the despatch box, justice minister Sarah Sackman defended the process as one which “instils confidence” in the information on birth certificates.

Unmarried mothers whose partners die during their pregnancy must apply for a declaration of parentage through the courts, before their child’s father can appear on the birth certificate.

Ms Voaden said: “I can attest to the fact that no young widow who is learning to be a mum and grieving at the same time should ever have to fight for this, and many of them couldn’t afford it even if they wanted to.”

She told MPs about a woman named Nicola, whose partner Stewart died with testicular cancer seven months into their pregnancy, so he never got “the chance to meet the son he had so desperately fought for”.

Ms Voaden said: “The registrar explained to Nicola that because they were not married, Stewart had to be physically present to be named on the birth certificate.

“Her evidence didn’t count and she was sent away with a birth certificate that had a blank space where Stewart’s name should have been.

“Nicola says: ‘We had made this baby together, literally and scientifically, and for him not to be recognised at all was devastating.’

“It took a year and over £1,000 to get to court.

“Stewart’s father went along to attend the hearing with Nicola and it took just a few minutes for the court to discuss and approve the change, and add Stewart to the birth certificate, almost as if they couldn’t believe that she’d had to go through this process in the first place.

“With overwhelming evidence and the support of blood relatives, it was the obvious decision.”

The Liberal Democrat MP later continued: “This is a tortuous process, one of those bits of bureaucracy that seems ridiculous when you actually spell out the whole process, as I did here.

“At the best of times, it would be frustrating and slow, and at the worst of times, it can simply be too much to cope with.”

Her voice cracked with emotion when she said: “When you are widowed young, you lose so much. You lose the partner you love.

“You lose the life you had built together, you lose the future you had planned. Your children lose their father or sometimes their mother; their family is never the same again and their lives will be shaped in many ways by the loss, however young they are when it happened.

“Being widowed and pregnant is all this and more, the trauma of birthing and grieving at the same time runs deep and lasts a lifetime.”

Responding, Ms Sackman said: “That process, whilst we have to emphasise simplicity and ease for those going through the toughest of circumstances, is an important one. It’s important because the process in some cases can bear on significant financial implications for others, such as children from previous relationships.

“It can bear on issues such as nationality and indeed on other issues that touch on the best interests of the child, so whilst ensuring the process is clear and simple to support bereaved parents, the courts must have a process in place that instils confidence in the details – the important details – that a birth certificate contains.”

Ms Sackman had earlier said “it’s right that a fee is attached to this application” to the courts, with “mechanisms” in place to support parents who cannot afford the fee, which take into account an applicant’s income, their savings, and whether they receive any benefits.

Stephanie Patrick, chief executive of the Widowed and Young charity, told the PA news agency: “Currently, pregnant women who are not married when their partner dies face a traumatic, confusing and often costly court process to register their partner’s name on their baby’s birth certificate.”

Ms Patrick added the charity felt “the current law is outdated, given that the 2021 census figures show that 63% of conceptions are outside of marriage or civil partnerships” and said: “We would like to see legislation keep pace with societal change to ensure that the process is equally straightforward for those who are not married or in a civil partnership as for their married counterparts.”