Steve Bruce’s battle through the pain at Aston Villa

So it comes as no surprise that, when the subject of his own personal turmoil is raised during his final meeting with the press ahead of today’s Championship play-off final, the Villa manager’s words are searingly genuine, even though they are so obviously painful for him to deliver.

The build-up to one of biggest matches in Villa’s history has taken place against the backdrop of the most traumatic period in Bruce’s life, when he has experienced a grief so acute, so cruel it is impossible for most to even begin to comprehend.

In the space of 88 days, Bruce lost his two biggest inspirations. His father, Joe, passed away in February. His mother, Sheenagh, died a little over three weeks ago, after three months seriously ill in hospital.

“To lose your mom and dad in a matter of six weeks has been the most traumatic experience that anybody could cope with,” he says.

“Mom always enjoyed Wembley, so she would have been getting her outfit…”

Bruce takes a moment to compose himself, then continues: “She loved Wembley but my dad wouldn’t have gone. He couldn’t stand it.

“He’d have said: ‘I can’t stand all that c***, Steve, I don’t know how you do all that and stand there, I couldn’t do that for the life of me’.

“My mom was a total one-off and my biggest supporter and she was terrific.”

Through the pain, Bruce has battled on, just as his parents would have demanded.

His courage, in the circumstances, has been remarkable. The dignity he has shown has been inspiring to colleagues, staff and players alike. It also means there are likely to be many neutrals pulling for Villa when they take on Fulham at Wembley.

Bruce’s personal situation helps put football, even a match of this magnitude, in proper perspective.

Yet his inner strength, so vividly on display in recent weeks, has undoubtedly played a key role in helping him transform Villa’s fortunes over the past year-and-a-half.

His larger-than-life personality and the confidence gained from a lifetime in the game were exactly what was required at a club which, when he arrived in October 2016, was five months removed from relegation and still appeared locked on a downward spiral.

Villa sat 19th in the Championship and Bruce was their fifth manager in the space of just 20 months. The job, to many, appeared a poisoned chalice.

Bruce has needed to call on all of his experience, from nearly two decades as a manager. He would be the first to admit the road has rarely been smooth.

Yet, slowly, the club has begun to turn around.

“I remember speaking to our technical director (Steve Round) after the first game against Wolves and thought ‘Uh-oh, wow!” said Bruce.

“Of course the culture of the club at the time – we hadn’t won away from home for 18 months. Some of the stats were just absolutely ridiculous. Big club or no big club, unless you go about relegation correctly it can have a big effect on everyone.

“My initial thought, and Steve Round agreed with me, was we’ve got to stop the rot here and just keep the club in the Championship. Would you believe? That’s how low I thought it had got.”

Progress, initially, was slow. A major overhaul of the playing squad, which saw seven senior players arrive and the same number depart during his first transfer window, failed to have an immediate impact and Villa finished last season well off the pace in 13th position.

A summer in which Bruce was forced to operate on a significantly reduced budget saw a greater emphasis placed on recruiting experience. Ahmed Elmohamady joined from Hull, with Glenn Whelan arriving from Stoke.

Bruce, meanwhile, pulled of a major coup in persuading John Terry to join on a free transfer.

Even then, the impact was far from instant. In September and then again in December, Bruce found his position under scrutiny following a poor run of results.

Yet gradually, things began to pan out just as he had hoped. At the turn of the year, Villa found their rhythm, reeling off a run of seven consecutive wins to go flying into the thick of the automatic promotion.

Bruce, meanwhile, points to Robert Snodgrass’s last-gasp winner at Sheffield United, after 90 minutes which his team had spent mainly with their backs against the wall, as the moment he knew a long-lost connection between supporters and team was being restored.

“The players were celebrating with the supporters and vice-versa,” he said. “The only thing that can connect it really is results.

“Of course, there’ve been occasions when we haven’t performed well enough but on the whole the fans have started to associate with the team.

“Let’s be fair, Aston Villa went down with a whimper. There was no association with the players any more, it had broken.

“To try and mend that, the only thing you can do is try and get a bit of honesty, get a bit of endeavour back and win a few matches.

“I do believe the supporters have enjoyed seeing what we have got at the moment and that was vitally important for the whole club that we have a connection.

“It has taken some getting there and certainly wasn’t there when I arrived 19 months ago. There were certainly times when they (the fans) wanted to rip my head off and rip the head off the players. Slowly but surely we have started to turn it around.”

Bruce knows the job is far from finished, not by a long way. Even should Villa secure a return to the Premier League, he has a busy summer ahead.

Lose at Wembley, meanwhile, and there is a real sense it could be back to square one, such is the club’s financial position.

Should Villa remain in the Championship, Bruce acknowledges his team next season will likely be “totally different”. Even his own future might be far from guaranteed.

“The five loan signings for a start, I don’t think we will be able to get them back,” he said. “Maybe we could get them back on loan again, though I don’t think that would be possible with (goalkeeper) Sam Johnstone.

“But I don’t think about failure, to be honest.

“Of course there will be difficult times ahead, I would have thought. But then again, last summer was difficult. We had to balance the books. I am sure we would have to do the same again.

“We have not been awash with money this year. We had to bring money in.

“But it just shows you, a few frees, a few loans and a few favours from your mates, you can put a team together. I hope I am still sitting here and we go again.”

Victory would be Bruce’s third in a Wembley play-off final and see him improve his own record for Championship promotions, which stands at four.

For reasons which extend far beyond matters on the pitch, it would also surely be the most satisfying.

“I’ve worked all my life to have an opportunity to be at a big club and I’ve not been disappointed with it,” he said.

“Whether it is the biggest (achievement), how do you judge it? I don’t know.

“Maybe the most satisfying with what has happened in my personal life, of course, maybe the most satisfying.

“But certainly I’ve enjoyed the challenge of the club, the way it is, it is a fantastic club with a great support and it’ hasn’t let me down in that respect. I’m privileged to manage it, I really am.

“When you’re a manager days like this are for everyone around you, staff, groundsmen, people who work at the club and, of course, the supporters.

“You feel that burden because they want their team to do well.

“For half of them it’s their life, it’s what they live for. If we can provide that moment, great, because they’ve had some c*** to deal with for the last four or five years. It would be good to put a smile on everyone’s face.”