Jess Varnish: Nothing will ever be as bad as Olympics

"I think it was because I've got blonde hair. He was going to my mum: 'Is this your daughter?' and mum was like 'yeah' and he replied: 'She should come and live with me for 200 camels.' I was like 'get me out of here now'."

Varnish laughs as she recalls the trip with mum Helen in February, designed to take her mind off the back injury which kept her out for almost six months.

It capped almost 18 months of pain for the Halesowen cyclist following her Olympic disqualification from the team sprint final with Victoria Pendleton in 2012.

The back problem literally added injury to the insult, but silver in the team sprint at the Mexico World Cup with Becky James last week proved her quality.

It added to her team sprint, match sprint, 500m time trial and keirin titles at the National Championships in November – and two bronze medals at the European Championships a month earlier. It allows Varnish to be remarkably philosophical when we meet as the 23-year-old swings her feet over the seat in front of her at the Velodrome in Manchester.

"The Olympics didn't change me, it doesn't define me being an Olympic champion or winning a medal," says Varnish.

"The injuries probably define me more than the Olympics, because you have to do it on your own.

"Nobody – apart from the people who are really close to you – understands. You have to get on with it yourself.

"I wasn't naive, but I thought nothing bad was ever going to happen. I never thought I'd be restricted with what I could do. It's probably good it's happened, in a way.

"If I got disqualified in the World final I would be gutted, but nothing would ever be as bad as the Olympics. I would be really sad, but I'd get on with it.

"The Olympics is something you've been training for all your life, for this one thing, and then very quickly it's gone.

"It doesn't even mean anything. The injury has put things into perspective.

"A few months ago I would have been happy going to Mexico just to do anything."

We touch further on the Olympics, but there is little else Varnish can say. She was the only competing member of the British cycling track team not to win a medal in London last summer.

She and Pendleton were disqualified in the team sprint when they were guaranteed silver and would probably have won gold.

The nation saw her distraught as Pendleton held her in the Velodrome, the chance of a medal gone, and she has moved on.

There is a World Championship to think about in February in Cali, Colombia, but it's a goal Varnish doubted she would make after such a turbulent year.

A back ache on a training camp in Australia in January developed into a more serious problem and left her fearing missing another season. The mundane chores of cleaning and shopping – let alone continuing her career – were put on hold.

And the seriousness of the problem was revealed with a simple sneeze.

"Don't even talk to me about that," she says, still wincing with the memory. "It had been coming on for months. When I was in Australia, I could feel it every day and I just wanted to get home.

"I had an injection and it was an epidural so it had to go into the discs. The needle is long and you go in and out of a scanner when it's in your back.

"They said: 'That should do it,' but in my mind it was still there. It felt OK, but when you're hurt your body just knows.

"Then one day I was doing a lift in the gym and it just went. I started crying, tears came straight away and I never thought I'd cry in the gym. I thought I'd broken it, I couldn't walk, couldn't bend down or anything.

"And when I got home I sneezed – oh my God! I dropped to the floor in pain – my legs just went.

"Liam (Phillips, Varnish's boyfriend and UCI BMX World Champion) wasn't in the room but I was like 'Liam, what the hell just happened?' My body was out of control; it was bizarre and really scary.

"Now I've got to sneeze with my mouth open – and just get my germs everywhere. I have to, just because of paranoia."

Varnish had torn the L5/S1 disc in her lower back with fluid leaking out of the disc and surgery or enforced rest were the only options.

She chose rest and only managed to return to concerted training in July, nearly six months after the initial problems.

It was the first injury of her career – give or take a day or two off – and in an honest and vulnerable moment left her questioning a return to the top.

"I wasn't thinking about retiring, but I didn't think I'd be able to come back as before," she says.

"Every time I was on the bike it was hurting and I didn't want to do it for the rest of my life with pain. There would be no enjoyment.

"I'd go on my rollers in the morning or on a gym bike but I couldn't bend over. I'd just be in pain and how was I meant to put power down in this position?

"The idea of doing a start made me want to cry. Your back is central so everywhere felt awful, I had pain in my legs, everywhere.

"I'd worked so hard to put on muscle and get stronger and more powerful but I came back and everyone was saying I'd wasted away.

"I couldn't do anything to keep the muscle there, I lost 7kg just of muscle.

"It's bizarre because people would think you'd get fat, but I just lost it. I felt awful and weak and thinking: 'How I am ever going to get back to do this?'

"After the time off I'd come back to the track and train and it would hurt, so they'd just send me home. It was one step forward and two steps back all the time."

Varnish blames the lack of down time after the Games for her injury, believing her body could not cope after the demands of preparing for London 2012.

She had just two weeks off in an attempt to ride herself out of the disappointment but admits, in future, she will ask British Cycling chiefs for more rest.

"We never ever get a break. Looking back I'm really going to push to have that time because if I'd had more time off after the Olympics, I don't think I'd have been injured," she says.

"I came back too early, 100 per cent. I had a couple of weeks off, but I wanted to do it for myself because of what happened at the Games. I wanted to get back into it myself to prove I was still in good shape.

"Your body can't do it at the end of the day – so I ended up having to have five months off.

"Vicky put a lot of things in perspective and then Chris Hoy got in touch to say that, although things might seem horrible, I was doing the right thing and I would get back into the sport.

"To be encouraged by two people who had been through it all was wonderful."

Varnish cracks another smile, joking about her own misfortune.

But when it comes to her return, she is focused.

China's Lee Wai Sze has built on her bronze in the keirin at London 2012 and team sprint world and Olympic champions, Germany's Kristina Vogel and Miriam Welte – who beat Varnish and James in Mexico – are chief threats.

And even though she and James were under China's old world record time set at London 2012, they were still second in Aguascalientes last Thursday.

So does Varnish, who immediately lost the team sprint world record she set with Pendleton at London 2012 to China in the very next race, need to get faster?

"Yep," she says matter-of-factly."Everyone has got faster, which is great because it shows the sport is going in the right direction.

"But now isn't the time to be the fastest in the world, we've got until February to get into that place.

"I've needed that time after having such a long time off of not being able to do anything. I'm happy to be where I've got back to after just four months back on the bike.

"I have raced more this year than I ever have done in a year. It's bizarre but it's really good, it's helped me.

"I don't see I'm on the radar now, I just want to go to each training session and commit to it.

"I just feel I want to be fast on my bike because nothing else matters. There's a whole other world out there of people I've got to beat. I see it as a bigger picture."

That comes from her time on the sidelines, watching, struggling with pain and plotting her eventual return.

It is an ongoing situation with Varnish admitting she must manage her back carefully to ensure she doesn't suffer again.

Her training has changed, incorporating more pilates, as the Worlds and the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow next summer loom.

"I don't think it's going to be gone ever," says Varnish, who began track cycling at an early age and was selected to join British Cycling's Olympic Development Programme in 2005, making selection a year ahead of her age group.

"It's always going to be something I'll have to manage – and want to manage.

"It could come back at any time and I want to keep my body healthy for as long as possible. I'm 23 and hopefully have a long career ahead of me.

"It was such a bad injury; I don't want anything like that again. I'll always be aware of it and I'll always do rehab and pilates.

"That's what I've started to do because of my back. I've had to change in the gym, I can't do some lifts which I used to do because of the load on the disc.

"I will be able to do them at some point. You have to do one exercise at a time, then put weight on.

"I'm really happy with what I can do compared to not doing anything. I'm lifting more than I thought I'd be able to do."

There's no frustration now, though, even after watching sprint partner James take gold in the keirin and sprint at the World Track Championships in Minsk in February.

The pair, who grew up together in the British Cycling programme, were in Pendleton's shadow.

But there is no battle to become the sport's new golden girl.

"We are really good friends, we've been doing the same training, have pushed ourselves and raced together at the World Cup," says Varnish, who also rides for Team V-Sprint Racing, which was founded by dad Jim, a former National and World Cycle Speedway champion.

"I didn't get the icing on the cake at the Worlds because I was in good shape apart from my back, but Becky got all the rewards from it.

"It wasn't my time. Becky has had her injuries, I was happy it all came together."

Varnish dreams about being world champion and emulating James – the closest she has come was team sprint silver in 2011 – something she thought she would have to put on hold for another year.

But after overcoming her demons, on and off the track, it is a realistic aim in February.

The scars have healed and Varnish is happy to the point where she apologises for talking about things too much. It has been a long road, but something which has left her fearless. "I'd never been injured before," she says.

"Maybe I'd have to miss one session because a muscle was tight, but I've never been injured.

"Looking back it's gone quickly to where I am now but it was horrible at the time. Each day dragged. I couldn't do anything.

"I just appreciate things more now. I appreciate being able to get on my bike and perform to 100 per cent after not being able to for so long.

"It's never been taken away from me, I've not had any limitations before.

"Even talking about it, you know you should appreciate every day of being able to be on the bike. It sounds stupid.

"It has been horrible, but now I've come out the other side of it and hopefully going to be successful. So I think nothing can ever be as bad as what's happened.

"What else could be as bad? I'm just not scared now."