I'm wrestling with feelings over my one true Valentine
There is only one day of the year on which we can really fawn over our true love without everyone else being sick all over themselves in embarrassment.
Valentine's Day is a perfect time for us to tell the world what it is we really adore about The One for us.
Well, this is no exception. But before you move along, please take this opportunity to breathe in through your nose to avoid nausea. You see, my beloved isn't a man or a woman. It's not taking me out for a curry later and it won't buy me a heart-wielding teddy bear that I'll just chuck in a cupboard upstairs and ignore.
It's wrestling.
Yes, you heard.
I've never been a sporty type, but there's something about wrestling that I just can't get enough of. For more than 20 years it has been a source of happiness and joy to me in a world where not enough people run around in their pants wearing streamers.
It was my source of inspiration as a child, and quite a few photographs of me as a child show me pulling some carefully planned pose or another courtesy of grapplers like Rob Van Dam.
Now I'm a bigger girl, in every sense of the word, I'm possibly even deeper in love with it. And that's down to the discovery of British wrestling. No longer do I have to part with cash for a Sky TV pay-per-view to watch gigantic, muscle-bound men slam each other on to canvas.
Each wrestling promotion has its own key characters – the heroes and villains. For a pretty nominal fee you get high-flying acrobatics, British strong style slams and strikes and more drama than EastEnders.
British wrestling hasn't had the platform it used to have to showcase its talents. Not since World of Sport back in the 60s and 70s, when the likes of Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks graced our screens. But so many of us still tune in to American wrestling – like WWE's WrestleMania – year after year, keen to get our portion of the pinfalls.
The sport is bigger here than it has ever been – quite something for a few islands so small. In fact, you can tune in to the big American promotions now and see guys and girls from the UK fighting some of the best talent the world has ever seen. They ARE some of the best talent the world has ever seen.
What a wonderful thing!
Better than perhaps the wrestling itself is the community of fans that follow the British scene. Thanks to social media, the world seems a lot smaller. I'm confident that I could attend a show anywhere from Glasgow right down to London and beyond and see someone that I knew through this sport. And that's a great feeling, and just one of the reasons why I champion it so strongly. It brings people together. Also, there are people smacking each other in the chops.
Such is the interest in wrestling now that the American company CHIKARA is coming to do its first UK tour this Easter, bringing some of the craziest, most OTT Mexican-style luchadors to our shores.
Masked, high-flying and full of charisma, there's nothing more exciting for me than a good wrestling show.
So I'm going to spend my Valentine's night with my one true love – watching grown men feed each other knuckle sandwiches.
It's as simple as 1...2...3!