Christmas classics you’ll barely believe

A FUDGE CALLED RWANDA. Hilarious farce with a trademark ludicrous plot from the pen of the well known humorist Suella Braverman. James Cleverly is perfectly cast as he reprises the role made famous by John Cleese. You won't know whether to laugh or cry as a madcap clueless bunch try to get away with it in this improbable caper. Production costs ran way over budget and it was an international flop with reviews such as "Not worth it" and "Entertaining while it lasted but ultimately pointless".

IT'S A BLUNDERFUL LIFE. Nothing seems to be going right for Rishi and those around him wonder whether things would be better if they ended it all and put him out of his, and their, misery. An angel called Jeremy appears to Rishi and together they generously decide to give some money to hard working people through a cut in National Insurance. Suddenly the sun shines and Rishi kids himself that he is actually doing some good. He makes it to another Christmas, receiving many cards with the message "Remember, no man is a failure who has friends," although his "friends" privately think he'll be gone by Christmas next year anyway.

THE POLAR EXPRESS. Subject to cancellation. Check with operator.

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. Slick and well-groomed leading man Sir Keir Starmer the Charmer goes through various contortions as he adopts multiple positions in this controversy-free movie. Despite the subject matter this was the verdict of the critics: "Uninteresting," "intentionally dull," and "devoid of any excitement whatsoever."