Paw-sing for thought on halting cat-aclysm

I thought I would add a little fun element for my first column, though this is a serious issue.

I have a lovely black cat called Buttons or Mr Trouble, he’s on Facebook as Buttons Cat

Buttons is in touch with Larry The Cat at No10 Downing Street (Twitter – @Number10cat), they often chat on cat mail and Catbook about what’s going on in the world, Buttons champions cats rights and is a member of union Pets, Animals Welfare Society (PAWS).

One of the main topics that they talk about is Brexit and what would happen to all the animals after it happens.

Both think more pets will be abandoned as their human parents could become less well off, that would mean they could be less well looked after with fewer treats.

One concern, would Pet Social Services (PSS) like the RSPCA, cats and dog protection charities and all those independent groups who look after the welfare of our pets be able to cope with demands on their over-stretched services due to further austerity?

Larry told Buttons he overheard Mrs May talking to health secretary Matt Hancock about the possibility of medicine shortages for humans, both are worried that this also applies to pet medicines.

Buttons said food could be another big issue, will pets face shortages?

Larry worries: "We could end up having less treats, oh what has the world come to?

"Mr Cameron, what did you start just to appease some of your own Tory Party, and that man called Nigel and his UKIP Party?

"How could you do such a thing to this country, and then walk away as if nothing has happened?

"I should have bitten and scratched you when I had the chance, and let all the rats and mice into No.10."

Larry goes on to say they lied, they said we would be better off.

The use of the catphone is another issue.

Palmerston The Cat (Twitter – @PalmerstonFOCat) from the foreign and commonwealth office has been brought into the debate, as they fear they may have to go back to paying roaming charges and will not be able to talk to family and friends in Europe without paying the scandalous mobile operator charges.

Palmerston is also looking into how they would survive without Pawsseco at the Christmas and New Year ball.

Larry is concerned he will not be able to welcome guests from Europe as he fears the Government would not be able to negotiate the Pet Passports.

Both Larry and Buttons know they could do better than Mrs May and her Victorian colleagues at running the country, they are putting a team together with Larry as PM, Palmerston set to be chancellor and Buttons deputy PM.

Larry has made his maiden speech from the podium in front of No.10 as he bids to become PM.

They also want to look after their human slaves by keeping Trump and his privatisation away from the NHS and this country.

• Anwen Muston is a Labour councillor on Wolverhampton Council representing East Park.