Peter Rhodes on pylons, poles and a useful new form of currency

I no longer calculate tradesmen's services in pounds. These days I find it helps my budgeting to divide the invoice by the sum I am paid for writing this stuff. This creates a new unit of currency: the column. Thus, a plumber to rod the drains costs me two columns and a new window is three columns.

You may be surprised that the latest bill from the electrician for five columns is about twice what I paid for my last check by the eye consultant. What's more, the consultant threw in some minor surgery for nothing, nipping off a tiny skin tag on my eyelid. It's always nice to get something for nothing. After all, I am not made of columns.