Express & Star

Peter Rhodes on gritty guano, private palaces and the unexpected utterances of a recreated mammoth

I bet we were all impressed when King Charles announced that some rooms in his beloved Balmoral would be open to the public from this week at £100 a time (plus £50 for optional tea). What a generous gesture it seemed. But, according to one report, other family factors may have been at work.

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Balmoral Castle is opening its doors

Until today, we are told, the parts of Balmoral now being enjoyed by Joe and Josie Public were the rooms which Prince William's kids, George, Charlotte and Louis, “had the run of, each summer.” If the choice is between three lively royals hurtling through your beloved old home and sending the Ming vases flying, or queues of genteel royalists traipsing quietly in and out, well, it's no choice, is it?

Useful things you never knew about seagull poo. On our holiday in Devon, a local who seemed to know his stuff, pointed out that, as seagulls have a diet of crabs, mussels, limpets and other things living in shells, their excrement is full of shell-chips and highly abrasive. This means the worst thing you can do if you find your car anointed with guano is to rub it vigorously with a cloth.