Peter Rhodes on a prince's pledge, a model's baby and the plot to sink both Boris and Brexit

And now in this shiny new week, the Andrew formerly known as HRH begins a new campaign. According to the court papers he will be “supporting the fight against the evils of sex trafficking, and by supporting its victims.” As a great historical promise, Andrew's declaration is right up there with Churchill's famous pledge on “blood, toil, tears and sweat.” But without the sweat, naturally.

Does anyone still believe that the Get Boris campaign is inspired solely by noble principles such as telling the truth in Parliament? If they did, a newspaper column by a veteran Eurozealot might make them think again.

Writing for the Guardian, Lord Heseltine, the man they used to call Tarzan, refers to his Brexiteer enemies as “the wreckers of the European dream” and says they are realising that “if Johnson goes, it shifts the sand beneath their feet.” Heseltine tells how he and Lord Adonis, respectively president and chair of something called European Movement, agreed on a phrase to promote their online message. They came up with: “If Boris goes, Brexit goes.”

In other words, some Remainers believe that if they can just get rid of Boris Johnson, they can roll back Brexit and drag the UK back into the European Union. Partygate has never been entirely about breaking the lockdown rules. It is part of something much bigger. The hysteria over a few bottles of bubbly and a birthday cake serves the purposes of a campaign to overturn the greatest exercise in popular democracy this country has ever seen.

A reader commenting on my recent piece about President Putin exhibiting “little man syndrome” tells me that “a simple Google search” would have told me that it is actually called Napoleon Syndrome or Napoleon Complex. So it would. But as no-one, including Google, knows how tall Napoleon was (estimates range from 5ft 2ins to 5ft 7ins), it struck me as unfair to drag the Little Corporal into it.

You can tell Naomi Campbell's new baby is her first. After a while, mums learn not to cradle un-nappied babies against their expensive frocks.