Express & Star

Peter Rhodes on the revenge of the millennials, a cure for fly-tipping and the benefits of counting to ten

Read today's column from Peter Rhodes.

Published
Reopen, please

Our changing language. You may have noticed how some people in authority are no longer referring to coronavirus or Covid-19. Just as the Second World War was so massive that it was simply called “the war,” so this contagion may well pass into history as “the virus.”

Here's a snappy little term to watch out for in the months to come: “intergenerational reciprocation.” It has been dreamed up by the think tank the Social Market Foundation and what it means is us baby-boom generation being turned upside-down and shaken until the money falls out of our pockets and into the hands of the millennials. Metaphorically, that is. In reality the idea is to scrap the triple-lock on the state pension which, over the past few years, has resulted in bigger rises for pensioners than workers.

But I bet that is only the beginning. When this pandemic is over, expect to hear a chorus of resentment from the under-50s, demanding the old and well-heeled are taxed to the hilt. They will make the point – and rightly so - that the UK economy has been trashed, their social lives devastated and their jobs thrown on the furlough scrap heap in order to save the lives of old people. Oh, and they also got shouted at by the cops for sunbathing in the park during lockdown and have been sulking about it ever since.

In normal times we all despise fly tippers, those skulking scum whose idea of a good night out is to find a pretty little remote lay-by and dump an old fridge or a mattress in it. But today fly tipping is, if not excusable than understandable. Some councils have scrapped their green-bin collection service and many have shut their recycling centres.

Those who rule us may live in enormous mansions with vast gardens but most new houses have about enough storage space for a crate of baked beans and a couple of loo rolls. Where is Jo Public supposed to put his rubbish? When the process of easing this lockdown begins, let's hope the recycling centres are the first facilities to open - and the problem will vanish.

We had a phone call from a branch of HSBC to inform us that our local branch was closed, and was there any service they could offer us or did we want to switch to online banking? And because we are warned so often that any call from a bank is likely to be a scam, I was on the verge of giving her both barrels, with added venom and a big dollop of obscenity when I suddenly realised she was genuine, bless her. In situations like this, be suspicious but always count to ten.

Is this the BBC's least popular job title? A Radio 4 presenter introduced a reporter in South Korea with : “And now over to our Seoul correspondent.”