Free at last

AFTER 22,219 solo engagements spread from the 1940s until last week, the Duke of Edinburgh must have woken this morning, asking himself the question asked by millions of retired folk: "What shall I do today?" followed by the usual joyous response: "Any bloody thing I want."

IF you ever doubted that American politicians think they are film stars, consider the parting words from President Trump's sacked communications director Anthony Scaramucci: "I am now going to go dark. Then I will re-emerge. As me." Any British politician spouting such stuff would be greeted with howls of laughter. In the States, folk just regard it as part of the script.

UNIVERSITY vice-chancellors are in the firing line over their massive salaries. George Holmes, £222,000 head of the University of Bolton, comes out fighting, declaring that he is a success and is perfectly entitled to spend his money as he wishes, including running a Rolls-Royce. Interestingly, the Daily Mail concealed the limousine's number plate, presumably to protect it from envious attention, but the Times did not.

I HAVE just dipped out of a pub quiz. Nice to be invited but when did you last see a fair one? It strikes me that the team that wins tends to be the team claiming the weakest bladders. Show me a pub-quiz competitor heading for the loo and I'll show you someone with a smartphone, about to consult Google on the length of the River Nile. Then there are those "friends" who aren't officially in the team but sit with them and chip in answers, knowing no-one will complain because "it's just a bit of fun".

THE occasional super-tough question can sometimes flush out the smartphone cheats. An online forum recalls this robust challenge during a pub quiz: "Oh, so you just happened to know that obsessive nose picking is called 'Rhinotillexomania,' did you?"

THEY still don't get it, do they? Despite the referendum, despite the Article 50 vote and despite the negotiations, you still see intelligent people seriously suggesting that the process of leaving the European Union can be halted and reversed. It cannot. Face facts, folks. We are past the point of no return. If the UK suffered a massive change of heart tomorrow (which it won't) , the best we could hope for is our craven application to join the EU being supported by all 27 other nations. The terms might be crippling. We would probably not qualify for our annual rebate. We would certainly be ordered to scrap the pound and join the Eurozone. And we would be sneered at for our trouble-making indecision for ever and a day. Saddle up. The sunlit uplands of independence beckon and there is no other place to call home.

AND if you're still convinced that post-Brexit Britain will be a hell-hole, try telling the experts at the London-based European Medicines Agency. The agency is due to relocate in Europe. Three-quarters of its staff say they want to stay in London. These are professionals at the cutting edge of international commerce and regulation. If they're happy to stay why should any of us worry?