Peter Rhodes: A policy of treating us like mugs

HAVE you noticed how some words instantly increase the price of things? Items such as photography, cake, reception and breakfast instantly rocket in price if they are preceded by "wedding." In the same way, things such as cards, champagne, chocolates and balloons become wildly expensive by adding the adjective "Valentine."

AND as a reader noted this week, with his tale of a hugely expensive WC handle for the infirm, you can make a nice little earner out of everyday goods by adding "for the disabled."

AH, the drama, the glory, the power. The steam locomotive Tornado is pulling trains on the Settle-to-Carlisle line this week and what a magnificent sight it is. I recall a steam-hauled trip on the Severn Valley Railway some years ago in the company of a bloke who once went to school by train. His memory of the golden age of steam was not so golden. In all the seven years of his secondary education, he never once arrived at school with a clean shirt. So that's drama, glory, power - and smuts.

AFTER relating some of your tales of woe about the insurance cartel – sorry, industry – my own renewal note arrived this week. The premium has shot up by 12 per cent. But that's not the worst of it. What really niggles is that the only way of renewing the policy is on the internet and you don't even get a policy document or cover note; you have to find them in cyberspace and print them yourself. In what pig-ignorant, thick-headed corner of commerce is this regarded as customer service?

MEANWHILE, another reader, another moan. His 86-year-old mother, having loyally stayed with the same insurers for 20 years, was presented with a £202 bill to renew her house contents policy. He went online and found identical cover for £38. He informed the current insurers who promptly dropped their premium from £202 to £64. In the language of insurancespeak, loyal=mug.

THE number of facelifts and other cosmetic operations fell last year by a jaw-dropping (so to speak) 40 per cent, and no-one quite knows why. Here's a suggestion. We are coming to the end of the payouts to people missold payment protection insurance. This has been one of the biggest exercises in wealth distribution of all time with £23 billion paid out so far. Hundreds of thousands of Brits have received thousands of pounds they never expected. Some will have bought new cars, others a conservatory or a holiday. And some, I bet, invested their windfall in cosmetic surgery. Poetic justice. First, you pay through the nose for unnecessary insurance. Then you get a new nose.

JUSTICE Secretary Liz Truss says our vastly overcrowded and unmanageable prisons are the result of more people being jailed for sexual offences, domestic violence and child abuse, and it would be wrong to reduce the prison population by going soft. Fine words. However, in the past few days we have seen an historian jailed for stealing a wartime RAF log book and a ferret owner jailed for causing unnecessary suffering to his pet which died in an overheated car. And let's not forget the 20 people jailed in 2015 after being caught with no TV licence. Prison should be reserved for those who pose a real threat to society, not used as a dumping ground for the mean, the dim, the thoughtless and the poor.