Peter Rhodes: To vote or not to vote?

A READER writes: "I followed a car on the M5 today and thought its radiator had blown. Turned out the driver was smoking one of those vapour cigs." Quite so. The main objection to e-cigarettes is the sheer volume of vapour they produce. It is objectionable because it shows exactly how much breath a person exhales, and where it goes. You breathe out and I am enveloped in your second-hand breath, germs and all. We know it happens. We just don't want to see it, thanks.

IN the wake of the Ken Livingstone affair, pundits have been queuing up to explain the difference between anti-zionism and anti-semitism. The first is hatred of Israeli government policy, and is okay. The second is hatred of Jews, which is clearly not okay. It gets complicated when anti-semitic people try to pretend they are merely anti-zionist. Two simple questions usually sort it out: Do you believe the state of Israel has a right to exist? If not, can you explain how you can contemplate something so hateful as the destruction of the Jewish homeland, without hating Jews?

THE row over the BBC being forced to schedule popular programmes so as not to clash with ITV favourites is like debating the merits of penny-farthing bicycles. It has been overtaken by technology. Increasingly, viewers choose to set their own schedules. In the age of catch-up telly, does it really matter what clashes with what?

BE careful what you wish for. Southern Britain has been overrun with grey squirrels for decades. Now, from Scotland, comes news that the once-rare pine marten is making a comeback, preying on grey squirrels and helping the native red-squirrel populations to recover. So far, so good. But before we hail the pine marten as a hero, be aware of its reputation in mainland Europe. The marten, or marder as theycall it in Germany, enjoys chewing rubber and plastic and can wreck your car in a single night. As one emailer from Munich puts it: "Little b******s have eaten my windscreen washer hose." Over to you, Chris Packham.

MEANWHILE, a colony of rare hedgehogs has been found on the route of HS2. Naturalists are asking: "Does this mean the high-speed rail project will be cancelled?" Dream on. Nothing will stop HS2 except the realisation that we don't need it and can't afford it.

AFTER Monday's item on global warming, a former teacher (they never give up, do they?) says I should learn the difference between climate and weather. Please, sir, I know it already, sir. Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get.

I HAVE a dilemma in today's elections for police and crime commissioner. I disagree with the creation of PCCs. How can you replace a police committee with a single person and claim it is democratic? The dilemma is that an old mate of mine is standing for election. He would make an excellent PCC. So do I vote for him even though I disapprove of the job? I dare say my dilemma will be solved exactly as millions of other personal dilemmas are solved on election day. Before voters decide whether to trek to the polling station, they ask that vital question which has been the bedrock of English democracy for centuries. Is it raining?