Peter Rhodes: Why Brexit may never happen

CHARLES Moore ought to get out more. From the lofty height of his column on the Daily Telegraph, he had this to say on Monday about drug-taking in sport: "There is only one (remedy) which has not been considered. How about letting all sportsmen – and women – take drugs?" Actually, this idea has been considered by many folk, including the readers of this column. Last August I wrote: "There is only one sensible way forward. It is to allow athletes in all disciplines to ingest any damn substance they want." Indeed, I went beyond mere drug-taking to suggest some sprinters might care to be fitted with an anal-implanted jet motor. Do try to keep up, Charles.

NEVER one to rush, I have finally got around to seeing last year's Bond film, Spectre. Am I alone in thinking Daniel Craig as 007 wears his suits a tad on the tight side? What does James Bond have in common with the young Alexei Sayle? Same tailor.

"BETRAYAL of White Pupils" was the thunderous tabloid headline this week on the latest figures showing poor white kids trailing in educational achievement. The implication was that there is some vast conspiracy against white kids. Bunkum. By and large, kids do well at school if they come from families, cultures and communities which cherish education and recognise the importance of discipline and homework. Some children may well be betrayed. But how many of them are betrayed not by the schools but by the attitudes and values of their own families? Little Jimmy don't need no edukashun 'cos he's gonna play for Arsenal, innit?

LET us leap ahead to the morning of Friday, June 24. To the astonishment of the pundits, Britain has voted by a massive 70 to 30 per cent margin to leave the EU. What happens next? Absolutely nothing, since you ask.

OH, there will be appropriate noises. David Cameron will deliver, tight-lipped, the phrase he used after his defeat in the Syria-bombing debate: "I get it." The corridors of power will echo to the hum of minions trying to look busy. But nothing will actually happen, because those entrusted with making it happen have absolutely no intention of doing so. Cameron and most of his Cabinet are pro-EU. So is Jeremy Corbyn's Labour. So is the SNP. And so, of course, are the Lib-Dems whose relationship with the EU could best be described by that charming French phrase comme cul et chemise (as close as bum and shirt-tail).

IF the politicians have no intention of making Brexit work, how about the Civil Service? Only a few days ago the former cabinet secretary Lord Gus O'Donnell whose power in Whitehall led to him being known by his initials, GOD, warned it was "highly unlikely" that exit terms could be negotiated within two years and the process might take ten. This sounds suspiciously like the British Establishment giving formal notice that it will prevaricate as long as it takes to wreck the exit and keep the UK in the EU, no matter what the people want. The Establishment is a past master of delay. Look at how long the Bloody Sunday and Hillsborough inquiries dragged on.

SO do not be surprised if on Friday, June 24 in the wake of a vote to leave the EU, David Cameron announces he has selected the ideal person to take control of the Brexit process and drive it forward with all due haste. Sir John Chilcot.