Long on waffle, short on solidarity

A READER says he was quite content with Cameron's government all along and didn't see the need for change. This set me thinking. In these smartphone days when almost every citizen can be contacted in micro-seconds, do we really need general elections every five years? How about everyone getting an e-message on May Day each year asking: "Fancy an election any time soon?" Until a majority wants an election, we carry on as we are. Think of the money we'd save.

YES, we'll give you a lift into Europe. But only after you've trekked across Africa, handed a thousand dollars to the people-smugglers, scrambled into an overcrowded boat and capsized in the Mediterranean. No wonder so many of these refugees are young, fit and well-clothed. The poor, sick and penniless have been left behind or perished on the journey. If the West were really concerned about their plight, we would send ocean liners into every North African port and load up time and again with anyone who fancied a better life. Eventually, half the population of Africa would be decanted into Europe. It would be monstrously unpopular but wouldn't it be more honourable than skimming off the lucky few who make it just far enough to drown?

RUTH Wilson, star of the US series The Affair, says it's unfair that women are expected to strip off on screen. "It's assumed that women will . . . have to get their breasts out and I baulk at that. It's unnecessary and it's unfair." And who can argue with that? It is a mystery how, after 50 years of feminism, women are expected to disrobe as readily as they did in the heyday of the Carry On films. I still do not understand why male pop stars wear normal clothes but women pop stars are expected to perform in their underwear. But why should it matter what a mere male thinks? This is an issue that only women can tackle and the problem with the Sisterhood is that it's always been long on waffle and short on solidarity. For every starlet who makes a principled stand against nudity there are dozens of twinkies only too eager to reveal all.

JUST taxed the car for another year. The difference now is that you don't get a tax disc. So how much faith do you have in a fully computerised system? In my case, not enough to leave the only tangible proof the car is taxed at home. I printed off the DVLA receipt and put it in what used to be called the car's glove compartment. Alternatively, you could fold it up and stick it in your tax-disc holder.

WHILE on the subject of motoring, whatever happened to bug-covered windscreens? In ye olden days, no summer drive, especially at night, was complete without millions of flying insects smeared across your screen. You could even buy a plastic wing to fix on your bonnet to deflect the little blighters. It doesn't happen any more. So have millions of gallons of agricultural pesticides wiped out the insect population? Or are modern car windscreens raked at such an angle that bugs no longer crash into them?

SO farewell, Errol Brown who has died, too early, at 71. The story he told was that his pop group's name was dreamed up by a woman working at the Apple Record company. But that was way back in 1969. In today's politically-correct times, who in their right mind would dare suggest the name Hot Chocolate?