Watch out for the N-word, T-word and H-word

OUR changing language. A priest in Baltimore, the Rev. Jamal Bryant, has denounced the use of the word "thugs" to describe rioters who are, he insists, no more than " upset and frustrated children." He says "thugs" is "the 21st century word for the N-word." Be the first in your circle of friends to tut-tut in a holier-than-thou way next time the T-word is used.

MEANWHILE, in Scotland, there is such sensitivity over the word "Huns," used to denounce rowdy Rangers fans, that you will find it referred to as "the H-word." We will be running out of alphabet soon.

THE police operation to protect a conference in Texas was one of two things. It may have been no more than the perfect plan, with plenty of well-armed, well-briefed cops providing defence in depth to ensure no civilians were hurt. But was it a little too perfect? Was it actually a case of organising an anti-Islamic event calculated to offend Muslims, see who turns up and shoot 'em? I don't doubt the bravery of any of the officers involved but wasn't there a whiff of ambush about it?

RUSSELL Brand, he of the silly voice, long words, sleazy phone call and over-active loins, is urging folk to vote Labour. For millions of traditional Labour voters, this is the political equivalent of finding a corn plaster in your yoghurt.

ONE thing is certain. Any departing Coalition minister who leaves a note in his desk on the lines of "I'm afraid there is no money" can expect a long, long time on the backbenches. What on earth was Liam Byrne thinking of back in 2010? As I predicted more than a year ago, Byrne's "joke" note became David Cameron's best election prop.

CARDS on the table. It's election day tomorrow when we will cast our votes for the time-honoured and traditional reasons - tribal loyalty and naked self-interest. How have the past five Coalition years been for you? For me, by and large, they have been good years. My tax threshold has risen, inflation has dropped to nothing, council tax has been frozen, petrol is cheaper than it was a year ago and all our houses have gone up in value. British troops have come back from Afghanistan. As a 1950s kid who remembers real austerity, I don't recognise today's use of the term. And I certainly don't recognise the image of Britain, peddled with revolting glee by some politicians, as a doomed country whose social fabric has been torn apart by a toff government which cares only for the rich, with its health service on the verge of collapse. The NHS, on the occasions since 2010 when my family has needed it, has been quick and efficient and still has the power to make you shed a tear of pride and thankfulness as it works its magic. This is still a good land and I am proud to live in a Britain where more people are now working than at any time in our history. I'm not complacent but I am reasonably content. I bet there are many like me who have been quietly impressed at how the Coalition pulled us back from the financial abyss and turned the economy around. Things are far from perfect. The bedroom tax is unkind, the minimum wage is a pittance and immigration is out of control. But that's not the point. The point, in the privacy of the polling booth tomorrow with your pencil hovering over the boxes, is whether you seriously believe Miliband and Nicola's Tartan Army can make it any better.