The flower wilts

YESTERDAY's election result in Israel is a reminder that, whatever people may tell opinion pollsters, there is an historic tendency for voters to stick with what they've got. Don't be surprised today if you hear Tories humming Jerusalem.

ONE of the things that divides us from the rest of Europe is our attitude to the Second World War. In the rest of the continent people regard it as an unspeakably evil event from which no-one emerged with much credit. The Brits, the only Europeans proud of their part in the 20th century, persist in remembering it as a jolly knees-up in the Underground with Vera Lynn. This year's 70th anniversary of VE-Day will be marked with what the authorities are billing as a "Forties-style concert" in London's Horse Guards Parade. Blue birds over Dover and barely a mention of 50 million dead.

IT will be intriguing to see which wartime race-memory will be most stirred in the build-up to the VE-Day celebration which coincides with the General Election campaign. Will we remember ourselves as the Churchill-adoring patriots of 1940 or as the collectivists of 1945 who pragmatically kicked out Winnie and embraced Clem Attlee, the NHS and the welfare state? Seventy years on, does the Second World War make the British people feel red or blue? One thing is sure. The May 7 General election will be the most fascinating since 1945 - and will probably produce a government that no-one wants.

THE irony is that we cannot vote for the government which many folk feel has not served us too badly. How long before we get all nostalgic for the Coalition?

A READER points out that, as all party political broadcasts are the same, the parties could save money by having just one film. I can see it now: "Vote for us because we believe in fairness, justice, tolerance, motherhood, apple pie, hard-working families, raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens . . ." Andrew Marr once observed that no-one ever stands on the slogan: "All power to the workshy."

TERRY Pratchett suffered from what may seem a gentle form of Alzheimer's which begins with vision problems. For months, or even years, you may cope well. I interviewed a woman who has the same form of the disease. She told me philosophically: "However Alzheimer's begins, it always ends the same."

RAISED by Wolves (C4), Caitlin and Caroline Moran's sitcom about growing up in Wolverhampton, has had, as they say, mixed reviews, praised by TV critics but rubbished in the blogosphere by normal folk. I didn't watch it all (lured away by House of Fools on BBC2) but Raised by Wolves seemed to be stuffed full of clever and original lines which must have looked brilliant on paper but didn't survive the transition to the small screen. It is a profound mystery of television comedy that the most beautifully crafted and original gags sometimes fail to make us laugh once but Mainwaring calling Pike a stupid boy makes us laugh a hundred times. It's a fact, too, that many sitcoms, from Fawlty Towers to The Office, get off to a shaky start and then suddenly take off. Give it time.

GOOD news from north of the border. The Scottish Parliament has rejected a petition calling for Flower of Scotland to become their national anthem. It is a dreadful dirge and hardly anyone knows the words. So what anthem could fully capture the spirit of this sparky, divided, endlessly-debating nation? A contributor to Scotland's Herald website suggests Joe Dolce's hit, Shaddap You Face.