Best of Peter Rhodes - August 1

CANCEL Armageddon. It seems all those dire warnings about bees and butterflies dying out and crops failing through lack of pollination may have been exaggerated. A few hot, sunny weeks have seen a startling rise in the number of insects, with some beekeepers claiming their hive colonies are back to normal. Watch out for a sudden change in the headlines over the coming weeks as our attitudes shift:

• Bees and Butterflies Booming - Official.

• Enough Bees – Now Buzz Off!

• Clouds of Butterflies Ruin Royal Christening.

• Miliband Demands Action on Killer Cabbage Whites.

• Mad Moths Bit My Baby.

Remember, you read it here first.

THERE will, of course, be a full public inquiry into the battering and torturing to death of little Daniel Pelka, aged four, who was murdered by his mother Magdelena Luczak and her partner, Mariusz Krezolek. We Brits are rather good at full public inquiries. We appoint some imposing public figure to chair them and pay the earth for top-flight barristers to cross-examine witnesses. And when it is over we are earnestly assured that lessons have been learned, new procedures are in hand and the world is a safer place for children. And then it happens all over again. Another pitiful little mite will be starved or bludgeoned to death. And we will hear, once again, how police, nurses, doctors, teachers, social workers and all the rest were concerned at the state of the child, but assumed someone else was responsible. Quite often we are told that the mother was a plausible liar, spinning a web of deceit to baffle the experts. We may wonder how a woman who can barely speak English can convince English professionals that the child has some rare eating disorder, or that he bruises easily, and yet it happens time after time. And as the full public inquiry into little Daniel's death is prepared, we know one thing for certain. It is that, even as you are reading this, some poor, terrified, innocent toddler, probably living with its mother and her boyfriend, is being tortured and beaten and will soon be dead. Because, although we Brits are rather good at full public inquiries, we are not very good at keeping vulnerable children alive.

THE third SAS recruit struck down with heatstroke on the Brecon Beacons last month has died and still some armchair generals thunder on about the need to train special forces to the limits. If this triple tragedy had happened to SAS soldiers on patrol in Afghanistan, heads would roll. That it happened in full view of the public on a mountain in the UK is beyond belief, and beyond excuses.

MICHAEL Curry and his partner Kathleen McLelland spent £20,000 on a caravan for their retirement. It was stolen and turned up 18 months later 10 miles down the road in Hampshire, occupied by a traveller family who claimed to have bought it from someone in a pub for £300. Police say there is not enough evidence to charge anyone with theft and, if the couple want their caravan back, they will have to take civil action because removing the travellers from the stolen caravan would breach their human rights. Do you remember a time when stories like this used to surprise us?

REJOICE. This week Auntie Beeb finally told the nation what she has known for many months, that the phone-hacking carried out by the wicked Press was only the tip of the iceberg. As this column has pointed out several times, the Serious Organised Crime Agency, Soca, is aware of private detectives working not only for Fleet Street but for legal firms, celebrities and blue-chip companies. Yet while the BBC gave us saturation coverage of the Leveson Inquiry into Fleet Street's misbehaviour, it said barely a word about the Soca findings. Finally, on Wednesday, BBC News covered the story. I cherish the moment when the newsreader invited a correspondent to "explain this rather murky story." It is only rather murky, Auntie, because you have failed to shine a light on it.

JUST back from a few days staying at an excellent pub in that pretty little corner where Shropshire meets Herefordshire and Wales. We slept well, lulled into Nod by the baa-ing of sheep. Sheep are puzzling creatures. They lead very boring lives but always have something to talk about.

WE had a fabulous walk, up and down a succession of Housman's blue remembered Shropshire hills and valleys, emerging from dripping, Amazon-like rainforests into lush meadows with views of distant Caer Caradoc. Last year it would have been too wet for this eight-mile trek, last week it was too hot and who knows what next year will bring? Walk while you may because one day, long before you expect it, your walking days will be over and you will wonder, as you recharge your mobility scooter, why you never did Offa's Dyke.

JANE Austen is to appear on the £10 note marking a little victory for women campaigners who feared male domination of Britain's paper currency. Miss Austen published just six novels, all of which make the point that the very best thing a woman can do with her life is marry a rich man. A strange sort of hero for the feminists.