Mark Andrews: Lego falls foul of the woke mob, dirty T-shirts, and rude acronyms in council reports

It's been a while since i went to the London Science Museum. And I think it may have changed a bit since then.

My main memories are of the Stephenson's Rocket steam train, the prototype of then modern-day Deltic express locomotive, and a Rover car with a jet engine. I'm pretty sure there wasn't an exhibition telling me that Lego was 'anti LGBT' and 'heteronormative'.

Well, it seems there is now. 

According to The Times, a pile of Lego bricks is accompanied by an explanation that the public believes: “The top of the brick with sticking out pins is male, the bottom of the brick with holes to receive the pins is female, and the process of the two sides being put together is called mating”. 

Er, no they don't. It may come as a surprise to the people who put this exhibition together, but most members of the public aren't quite as preoccupied with sex as they obviously are. And I'm pretty sure no 10-year-old thinks of joining two plastic bricks together to make a model as 'mating'. They call it 'building'.

Not only does this exhibition reveal quite a disturbing mindset. It also begs the question: What has any of this got to do with science?

*****

Apparently, the French are a lot more broad-minded than we give them credit for.

The French Ecological Transition Agency - no, it's nothing to do with that - has told countrymen it is perfectly acceptable to change your boxer shorts every day. 

This, of course, flies in the face of the advice given by Gary - or was it Tony? - from Men Behaving Badly, who recommended turning them inside out to get an extra day's wear. But despite the old stereotype of the French being averse to personal hygiene, it appears to ok to put on a new pair of shreddies every morning.

Not so, T-shirts though - the government agency says these should be worn for at least five days between washes, and jeans should last for 30 days. Anything more is a waste of water and electricity, which probably explains the apparel on Extinction Rebellion protests.

But when you read all this, doesn't it make you feel nostalgic? This is just the type of advice we have been missing out on since we left the EU.

*****

Meanwhile, it emerged this week that plans for a nuclear power plant in Anglesey fell foul of planning inspectors over fears it may have had a negative effect on the Welsh language.

A 906-page report said that by creating 7,500 new jobs on the island, it 'could adversely affect the use and prominence of the Welsh language within communities'. 

Sure, it's disappointing to miss out on a clean energy source that would have reduced our dependence on foreign gas and oil. And it would probably have done far more to reduce carbon emissions than wearing riffy T-shirts for five days on the trot. But still, we can't have those pesky English speakers bringing their funny language with them, can we?

I do wonder, though, whether the planners would have responded in quite the same way had the scheme been in, say England, and the locals had complained that their language was under threat. Is suspect the response would not have been quite so sympathetic.

*****

I've just finished reading a local authority's financial projections for the next five years. Well, we all need a hobby, don't we?

As you might expect, it's filled with needless gobbledegook and initials, to the point it even includes a glossary to translate it into English.

It's not new. I remember about 25 years ago, the same local authority produced a report comprising whole sentences made entirely of acronyms to the point they were totally unintelligible to anybody outside local government. One of my favourites was the explanation about how SS officers would be responsible for child development, SS being an abbreviation for the Sure Start scheme.

But I do think they may have surpassed themselves this time with the acronym for 'flexible use of capital receipts' - which I don't think I will repeat in a family newspaper.

*****

Two-thirds of Scots are unhappy with Sir Keir Starmer's Labour government, says a new poll. And more than half are unhappy with the SNP administration at Holyrood. I don't reckon they're particularly big fans of the Conservatives, either. 

I'm not saying I disagree. But it does remind me of P G Wodehouse's thoughts on the matter: “It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.”