Mark Andrews: Inclusive banking, healthy banking, and a not-so-happy Valley
During a visit to the bank this week, I was greeted by a large A-board featuring a rainbow flag, a photograph of two young ladies kissing, and an explanation that the bank welcomed all customers 'whoever they are'.
That's jolly nice of them.
Call me a bleeding heart liberal, but I kind of assumed that all banks accepted customers without the need for them to be vetted by the sex police.
I obviously didn't appreciate having such a progressive bank.
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It does, of course, mean that everybody, regardless of sexual orientation, can enjoy the privilege of standing around for 20 minutes because there is now only one 'customer service point', the old line of serving hatches having been replaced by a mural of some lush green trees.
While waiting in the queue a young man in a tracksuit sidled up to me and asked if I needed his help. Now I'm no natural athlete, and maybe I would benefit from a bit of toning up here and there, but I didn't realise I was so out of shape that a random fitness instructor would offer to sort me out in the bank queue.
It turned out he was actually a bank official, and the tracksuit was his corporate uniform. Since when has anyone wore sports gear to perform banking duties? One shudders to think what Mr Mainwaring would make of it.
After sorting out my cash transfer, he asked me if there was anything else he could do. Dunno, bums 'n' tums class for beginners, maybe?
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Caledonian University in Glasgow will now be offering lessons in the television series Happy Valley, starring Sarah Lancashire as the careworn cop Catherine Cawood.
I think I must be the only person on this planet who has never seen it. Well actually, not, given that 7.5 million people watched Sunday's finale, compared to the near 60 million who therefore didn't.
Maybe we are missing out. Carol Midgley, of The Times, has described it as 'genius', with '12 minutes of electrifying dialogue', while fellow critic Lucy Mangan described it as 'one of the greatest trilogies in modern television'.
Then again, I've read the synopsis, which describes the show being about a divorced police sergeant living with her heroin-addict sister, and bringing up her grandson who was conceived when her daughter was raped, before taking her own life.
And having read all that, do you blame me for thinking I'd rather stick to the Sweeney?
