Express & Star

Andy Richardson: 'Lockdown has brought winners and losers'

There is good news for office workers.

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Matt Hancock has decreed that they will definitely, definitely, definitely not have to wear masks at work. I think we all know where this leads. Office workers have formed an orderly queue at Masks R Us to stock up before Super Matt tells them that they definitely, definitely, definitely have to wear masks.

Still, at least office workers are not BTEC students, A-level students, university admissions administrators or those charged with organising A-level college admissions; all of whom have endured a week of misery.

More than half a million students have been inconvenienced by the grading fiasco – and just for a moment, let’s steal one of Boris’s own jokes. The Government has more flip flops than Bournemouth beach ... what, you’ve heard that before? It’s fallen flat? Fine, we’ll move on.

While our Sun King Prime Minister holidays, Rome burns.

Ofqual and Gavin Williamson pass the blame from one to the other like members of the GB Olympic Relay Team – which means they frequently drop it, too – as accountability, transparency and other qualities become the first casualties of their phony war.

Gavin Williamson happily remains in office, safe in the knowledge that this Government doesn’t sack people for incompetence, only for speaking out against Brexit or getting on the wrong side of Boris.

Lockdown has brought winners and losers and chickens are on the wrong side of the dial. The number of homeless chickens has risen with people no longer able to look after them. People who couldn’t get eggs in March bought chickens but now that things are back to normal-not-normal, they don’t want them. Fresh Start For Hens has received 52,000 rehoming requests for birds that no longer lay eggs. Some chicken owners, however, have let nature take its course, leaving coop doors open and allowing foxes to intervene.

After a request by police not to allow officers to be subjected to trial by social media, a West Yorkshire officer was filmed with a suspect in a neckhold, telling him: ‘Chill out, or I’ll choke you out’. The man being restrained has not been charged but has given an interview saying he thought he was going to die. Police rule by the Peelian principle of consent, where transparency is key. Just as well someone filmed the officer in West Yorkshire, then.

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