Mark Andrews on Saturday: The perils of TV remakes, and why some golden oldies should stay silent
Traditional, old established brands such as Bisto, Coca-Cola and Cadbury's could be the big beneficiaries of the coronavirus outbreak, as people take comfort in familiar brands in times of uncertainty.
At least that is the assessment of Unilever chairman Alan Jope, whose portfolio conveniently includes Bovril, Marmite, Persil, Lipton's Tea, Colman's and PG Tips.
Still, it does make you wonder whether that is anything why ITV has decided to revive hit detective series Van Der Valk this weekend, 28 years after the last episode was screened.
Bringing back old favourites usually goes one of two ways. At best they seamlessly pick up where the old series left off, attracting a new generation of fans – think Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads?, which was arguably better than the original. But more often than not they are so excruciatingly bad that they tarnish the memory of the classic, and rule out any future revivals. Think Carry On Columbus, the Minder revival with Shane Richie, that crashingly dull remake of The Sweeney with Ray Winstone.
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Now I really hope I am wrong, but I fear the Van Der Valk remake could fall into the latter camp. Not just because Marc Warren, who plays the title role, looks worryingly like David Moyes about to throw the teacups in a half-time team talk. The real problem, I think, is that ITV describes it as 'a 21st century reworking' of the original. Yet the whole appeal of classics like Van Der Valk, The Sweeney, Minder or The Professionals is that they are from a time when it was possible to have flawed heroes who didn't necessarily conform to modern social mores or political correctness.
The original Van Der Valk, portrayed by Barry Foster, was a brusque, hard-nosed, old-school detective who bent the rules, drank beer in the office, smoked fat cigars, showed disdain for authority and sometimes expressed views that would today be considered questionable.
The new Van Der Valk, you can bet, will be a clean-living non-smoker with impeccably progressive attitudes, supported by an army of feisty female officers who will be the real brains on the investigation. allowing him time to indulge in bouts of introspection. Which basically means it will be like any other modern detective series, only without Sarah Lancashire mumbling.
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And it seems Van Der Valk is not the only golden oldie making a comeback on our screens. Earlier this week we were treated to a return from that other 1990s throwback, Tony Blair, who said the Government was slow off the mark in responding to the coronavirus outbreak.
In time he might actually be proven right. But the decisions made were done without the luxury of hindsight, and under the guidance of our leading medical experts, who I suspect are more knowledgeable than the former member for Sedgefield.
Anyhow, did it never cross Mr Blair's mind that had he been a little slower off the mark, and spent a little more time listening to the experts in 2003, we might have avoided an unnecessary war and the loss of millions of lives?
