Express & Star

Andy Richardson: Our animal instincts tell us we're in for the lockdown long haul

We already knew about the goats in Llandudno.

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Goats took over the deserted streets of Llandudno, north Wales, where the residents are in lockdown during the coronavirus pandemic. Image: Andrew Stuart/PA Wire

Covid-19 led to an animal takeover of the North Wales resort. But Llandudno is not alone as the animal kingdom expands its reach.

Squirrels no longer hop from tree-to-tree; hundreds sun themselves in grassy parks.

An alligator visited a shopping centre in South Carolina though it appears his credit card was declined.

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There have been pumas in Santiago, coyotes crossing San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge, monkeys re-enacting Planet Of The Apes in Thailand and wild boar in Barcelona.

They are not alone. Camels frolick on Moroccan beaches, peacocks run through the streets of Madrid, stags dawdle through Parisian streets and flamingos are on the beach in Argentina’s Mar Del Plata.

The prize, however, goes to Colombia, where 2m-long anteaters roam towns.

There have been no wild animals at the Daily Downing Street Press Conference, where Dominic Raab is King of the Jungle.

Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab outside No 10 Downing Street

However, if he extends the lockdown for another month safari parks may need to rethink their business.

Rather than humans visiting animals; the animals are visiting humans.

Daily press conferences have become an exercise in telling us stuff that we’d already worked out, namely: 1) There’s no chance of lockdown being lifted soon, 2) the only way out of this is a proper vaccine, which won’t be available for a year, and 3) the death figures are too low because they don’t include mortality in nursing homes.

Tell us something we didn’t know, Dom. Those conferences have, however, highlighted the quality of our remarkable civil service, the very institution under fire just months ago from Dominic Cummings, Boris Johnson and Priti Patel.

Civil servants are not alone in proving their worth.

Local newspapers and the BBC are keeping the public informed and educated; though Eamonn Holmes’ baseless 5G comments made the This Morning presenter appear as balanced as David Icke.

In the absence of Phil and Holly, the host’s job ought to go to the irrepressible Alison Hammond, Princess of Brummagem.

There is talk of the economy, and whether Covid-19 will bring a recession shaped like a V or a U.

Sadly, for some the shape will be an L and a mountain of bankruptcies.

The service sector will feel the pain.

We are in this for the long haul.

Stay indoors and watch the animals outside.