Brendon Batson: Hospice was such a comfort to my Cecily
It was a devastating diagnosis that came out of the blue and changed his world.
On March 5, 2009 doctors confirmed Brendon Batson’s beloved wife, Cecily, had a brain tumour.
The devoted couple had just six and a half more months together before the aggressive cancer claimed her.
But eight years on, the former West Bromwich Albion player takes solace from the fact that they didn’t have to face this difficult time alone.
As well as the endless love and support of their family, including their son Jason and daughter Zoe, they were helped by nurses from Birmingham St Mary’s Hospice.
During her final weeks, they were by Brendon’s side to provide the care Cecily needed so she could continue to live with dignity at home.
And after she passed away on September 18, aged 57, they continued to support Brendon as he struggled to come to terms with the loss of such a close companion.
“It was such a traumatic time. I couldn’t understand how it could happen to someone who was so dynamic and very fit,” says the 64-year-old.
Before the shock diagnosis, Cecily had shown none of the common signs associated with having a brain tumour although the couple knew something wasn’t quite right.
“Many people collapse and are taken to hospital where they are diagnosed with a tumour but Cecily didn’t collapse. Looking back, with hindsight, there were a few signs but we didn’t know what they meant,” says Brendon.
Recalling when the couple realised something more serious was going on, he said: “We were getting ready to go out with our friend when she asked me how long Cecily had been smiling lopsided. We hadn’t noticed.” It was then that they noticed other worrying symptoms. Cecily could lift her left arm but when she tried to lift her right arm it was very slow. She was having problems intermittently with her speech. At first I thought she’d had a mini stroke. I rang 999 and the paramedics took her to City Hospital,” said Brendon.
At first doctors also believed Cecily had suffered a small stroke but after further tests, they delivered the shocking news that her symptoms were caused by a grade four brain tumour.
She underwent major surgery for the aggressive cancer followed by chemotherapy.
“I didn’t realise the significance of it when they said it was a grade four tumour. It was only after Cecily had her an operation that I asked ‘what’s the prognosis?’ and was told she probably had six months. Then I knew,” said the grandfather of five.
Their family rallied around caring for her at home and Cecily continued to fight as long as she could. At the end of July, they started receiving help from the hospice team. “The care was fantastic. We had nurses in every day, six days a week. On Sundays it was just us because that was our day and I could care for her by myself.
“I don’t like to single people out but one of the nurses in particular, Mary Mackellar, was absolutely fantastic.
“The biggest thing Mary Mackellar did, that I will always be thankful for, was that near the end she told me to get my son and daughter back from Slovenia and Spain where they live. She told me ‘you have got to get them here’ . They jumped on a plane. We able to have a priest do the last rites. Cecily passed away a few days later. If it wasn’t for Mary’s urgency in telling me to get them here, they would have missed it,” said Brendon. “It was a very brutal six and a half months but in a way it was a blessing that it was only six and half months because cancer is so destructive. Cecily still looked perfect when she left,” he added. Brendon, who is supporting this month’s Hospice Care Week, said their experience had opened his eyes to the role of hospices.
Most of Birmingham St Mary’s Hospice care is provided in people’s homes or in the community – including at its three Satellite Clinics in Sparkbrook, Bartley Green and Cape Hill.
“I was ignorant to what they did. I know that it was a comfort for her and for us that she was at home,” says Brendon.
Following Cecily’s death that he has helped to raise vital funds towards its work.
This included a charity bike ride starting from the church in Chingford, Essex, where he married Cecily in June 1974, and ending at the Hawthorns where was a right-back between 1978 and 1984. He is also took on a mammoth ride from Wembley stadium to the Eiffel Tower in Paris. He said: “I have no doubt that it would have been a tougher journey without them. We would have got through it but it would have been much tougher.”
At any one time in Birmingham and Sandwell, 350 people are receiving care from Birmingham St Mary’s Hospice Hospice Care Week runs from today until Sunday. For further information see www.birminghamhospice.org.uk
