The party is over – now the hangover kicks in

Conservative Party Conference

Venue: Manchester

Slogan: Get Brexit Done

Leader watch: How they laughed, but with him, not at him. Boris was near his bouncing best. You wouldn't think that Boris has been beaten in every single vote in his entire premiership and that within weeks he'll be dead in a ditch unless he pulls a cat out of the bag when the chips are down.

Sample quote: "Figuratively if not literally let us send Jeremy Corbyn into orbit where he belongs."

Significant developments: Boris battered the backstop and outlined proposals for The Northern Ireland Question which could be a gamechanger as for the first time the DUP is on board, and there is actually talk that there might be a majority in the Commons. All that we're waiting for now is for the EU to reject it, as it surely will, so that Boris can write a letter asking for a Brexit extension in compliance with the law but in such terms that the EU will reject that too and we can move to Boris's promised land of a No Deal Brexit.

Highlight: That it took place at all. MPs spitefully voted for the Commons not to rise for the Tory conference. Had opposition MPs used the week as an opportunity to try to slip through highly controversial motions and so on, it would have been a major headache making it difficult for the Tory hierarchy to be in Manchester. But in fact the week was relatively quiet in the Commons. Was there some secret behind-the-scenes accommodation? In the interests of transparency, I think we should be told.

Lowlight: Thighgate. On the eve of the conference, there were new allegations about Boris Johnson's personal conduct and conduct in public office as London Mayor. It wouldn't be right to say that the mud doesn't stick. What protects Boris is that he's covered with so much mud that when extra mud lands it's neither here nor there.

Verdict: A triumph!

Labour Party Conference

Venue: Brighton

Slogan: For The Many, Not The Few. (Also: People Before Privilege)

Leader watch: There was no diminution in the Corbyn effect in the conference hall. Standing ovation after standing ovation and wild enthusiasm for his socialist vision of a Britain under Labour.

Sample quote: "Boris Johnson has been found to have misled the country. This unelected Prime Minister should now resign."

Significant developments: With the scheduled Brexit date now just days away, there was a movement to stop Labour's sitting on the fence approach – we all know where you get a pain if you sit on a fence for too long – and instead to become an open Remain party. Jeremy Corbyn considered the matter carefully and declared: "We need a bigger fence." Afterwards a group of Labour members wanting clarity on whether Labour is now a Remain or a Leave party prayed to the Almighty seeking the answer. For seven days and seven nights they waited for a reply to their question. And then God spake. He said: "Okay, I give up."

Highlight: Wonderful timing, with the breaking news of the Supreme Court judgment being a gift on a plate for Jeremy Corbyn.

Lowlight: The extraordinary show-of-hands vote which determined the party's future policy on Brexit. For sheer entertainment value, this took some beating. Afterwards Remain members said of those on platform: "They should have gone to Specsavers." Also the attempt to airbrush the deputy leader Tom Watson out of the party picture. This turned out to be nothing to do with Jeremy Corbyn, who was there, but not involved.

Verdict: Er, a triumph!

Liberal Democrats' Party Conference

Venue: Bournemouth.

Slogan: Demand Better.

Leader watch: Jo Swinson was making her conference debut as leader and was received rapturously. She presented herself to members as the next Prime Minister.

Sample quote: "I am Scottish, I am British, I am European."

Significant developments: Can be summed up by those Lib Dems' *******s to Brexit posters. Yes, *******s to Brexit is now official party policy. Conference approved a policy to call for another referendum on Brexit in which the Lib Dems' will campaign for Remain and consider any other outcome as non-binding. But if they were elected in a general election, they would see that as a mandate to say *******s to the 2016 referendum result and Article 50 and would bin Brexit entirely. The gloves are off and the Lib Dems are now unashamedly a Stop Brexit party, no ifs, no buts.

Highlights: Welcoming a whole host of defecting MPs to their cause and showing them off. Morale was high. Members celebrated the clear blue water they have created by becoming an overt Remain at all costs party.

Lowlights: An awkward moment during a question and answer session when a member asked Swinson if the party was vetting new MPs carefully enough to check that they have liberal values.

Verdict: A triumph!