Stafford group tells men it’s okay to talk about their mental health

While discussing favourite sandwiches may not seem a profound topic of debate, it is one of the questions that has been asked at AndysManClub’s Stafford branch to help visitors open up about other, deeper issues that may be affecting their mental health.

Two members have told councillors at Stafford Borough how the group has supported them through dark periods in their own lives and inspired them to help other men through their own troubling times.

They revealed that “blokes sat on chairs chatting” can even make make a life-saving difference.

AndysManClub started in Halifax in 2016 and is named after Andrew Roberts, who took his own life aged just 23.

His loss prompted his family to learn more about male suicide, the biggest killer of men aged under 50, and the stigma of male mental health issues.

A group was formed to enable men to talk openly to other men about their mental health, in a non-clinical setting and with no judgement.

Eight years later the charity has groups spread across the UK in more than 150 locations including Stafford and they have a message for all men that “it’s okay to talk”.

Chris Evans, one of the Stafford group facilitators, said up to 35 men attended the club in the county town each week, from regulars to newcomers, to have a chat, a brew and a biscuit.

A number have been made aware of the group by their wives, sisters or mothers, and have a variety of reasons for attending, but no referral or booking is needed, they can simply turn up on the night.

He said: “We ask people to come up with a positive from their week before the big question, what do you want to get off your chest?

“It’s amazing the broad diversity of reasons why people have turned up.

“It may seem trivial to other people what’s bothering them, or they may have really deep issues like they have lost parents or children.

"If you think about it, there’s a guy who really needs to talk about it.

“There’s a myth we have it together, but we are there to talk just as much as anybody else.

"You know you are not alone and the things going on at the moment, the crazy intrusive thoughts in your head and someone is having the same problems.”

He spoke to councillors of his own experience of losing a loved one to suicide, as well as experiencing further bereavement.

He said: “I was really quite low and it was suggested I go to AndysManClub.

“It took me three times to go in – I sat in the car park outside, not going in.

"It took me six months to go through the door but what it has done is given me purpose.

“I can do something as simple as chatting and it has really saved my life. It’s free and you get a coffee and biscuits – sometimes good biscuits.”

Fellow facilitator Chris Errington has also been affected by suicide and bereavement.

He said: “The reason I’m a facilitator is I wanted to give back as it has helped me out of a dark spot and we need more (branches) in the country.

“We are open to any man over 18 and men from all walks of life.

"We have people in their late teens and we have had retired GPs and former police officers, people who need that outlet where they can talk and not be judged.

“We meet every Monday, except Bank Holidays, from 7pm and we are based at the Presidents’ Suite at Stafford Rugby Club, with the best sunset in Stafford.

“We seem to be pulling in men from Rugeley and Stone and we’ve had guys coming from as far afield as Shrewsbury and Coventry.

"Nationally, more than 4,500 men use the group’s service every week, having a cup of tea and a biscuit and a chat, and for those who can’t get to a group we have online groups.”

To keep the group non-judgemental, certain subjects are off the discussion table, namely religion, politics, medication and criminality.

But other topics are most definitely on the agenda, from the best sauce to add to a bacon sandwich to what’s on your mind.

Members of Stafford Borough Council’s Community Wellbeing Scrutiny Committee thanked the group for their support for local men.

Committee chair Ann Edgeller, who is also Staffordshire County Council’s Mental Health Champion, said: “From a woman’s point of view sometimes you think men are strong and they can cope with anything, but underneath all that there is that softer bit.”

Councillor Dee McNaughton said: “I’m a nurse who has dealt with people with severe mental health issues.

"To have something like this in Stafford is brilliant, so thank you so much.”

For more information on AndysManClub visit www.andysmanclub.co.uk.

If you are experiencing emotional distress you can also call Samaritans free, 24 hours a day, from any phone, even a mobile with no credit, on 116 123.