9 of the funniest jokes and one-liners from the Brummie comedian Jasper Carrott

Perhaps best known for his stand-up shows and presenting game show Golden Balls between 2007 and 2009, Jasper, who was born in Acocks Green, is a true a Brummie legend.

As an actor, he starred in classic sitcoms such as The Detectives and All About Me. A man of many talents, Carrott even had a UK Top 5 chart hit in 1975 with the novelty double A-side record, 'Funky Moped'/'Magic Roundabout' produced by fellow Brummie lcon Jeff Lynne of ELO.

Jasper is best know for his brilliant sense of humour. He also came up with one of the most iconic jokes about The Beatles, which you can see below.

Here are some of his finest jokes and one-liners.

1. Is laughter the best medicine?

"Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list."

2. On radio DJs

"I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for." 

3. On Ringo and The Beatles

Many people thought John Lennon made the following joke about Ringo, but it was actually Carrott in 1983, who famously said: "Ringo isn't the best drummer in the world. He isn't even the best drummer in the Beatles."

4. On Stevie Wonder

"I have been known to play a few rounds in my time. I'm not obsessive; I don't play in the dark, but even that's not out of the question because Stevie Wonder is also a golfer."

5. Jasper on running

"There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson."

6. On environmentalists

"Yes, you could call me a tree hugger, an environmentalist, an eco-warrior even - except I don't spend my life in a kaftan, smoking joss sticks and walking a skinny dog on a piece of string."

7. On his beloved Birmingham City FC

"I was at St Andrew's on Saturday and bought a ticket for their golden goal competition. If the time on my ticket matches the time they score I could win a PS1,000. I opened the ticket and it read "October"."

8. On driving

"There’s a rumour going ’round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your driving licence, the authorities will make you take your test again! Now, if ever there was an incentive to drive carefully, they could not have threatened a more terrifying ordeal."

9. On performing

"I'm not a stand-up comedian. I'm a sit-down comedian. I never stand up when I'm onstage."