How hospice helped us cope with cancer

"When you talk about a hospice, you think it's all about people going there to die, but people don't see everything else that the place has to offer. You don't see how much they help the family."

Leasa knows first hand the excellent work the hospice and its dedicated staff do. She sadly lost her husband Tony to lung cancer when he was just 51. Ruth Owen, a bereavement visitor from the Wolverhampton-based hospice, was a rock to Mrs Stubbs, a 39-year-old full-time mother from Park Dale West, Tettenhall.

And according to Compton's head of fundraising, Sue Chance, as many as one in three people in the UK will be touched by hospice care at some stage in their life ­- either as a patient, or as a friend or relative.

This week is National Hospice Care Week, which aims to raise awareness of the vital work that hospices do for the terminally ill and the desperate need to raise funds to pay for such care.

At any one time, experts from Compton Hospice care for 625 patients, and the service costs £6.25 million a year to run. But just a third of that money comes from Government, mainly in the form of grants through local NHS bodies. It is up to the hospice to raise the rest.

"Aside from the NHS, our biggest source of income is from legacies," says chief executive Ron Middleton. "This accounts for around £1.5m a year, but it is far from guaranteed."

The rest comes from charity shops, a hospice lottery, and small fundraising events and donations.

Leasa remembers Tony's reaction when he was referred to the hospice the week before his death in December 2010.

"I remember Tony saying 'I don't want to go down that corridor, you don't come back'," she says.

Tragically, Tony, who had only noticed swelling in his joints in June 2010, died on December 21 that year.

But the care and support the couple received during those darkest of months changed their perceptions of hospice care completely.

"They were there for Tony and made him feel comfortable," she says.

Tony, who was managing director of a lighting company, was particularly concerned about his two young daughters, Erin and Jessica, who were at the time aged five and six.

"He wanted them to know and understand what was happening so that they could eventually move on from it, it was Compton Hospice who helped us to do this," says Leasa.

"I remember one of the girls asking why it was her daddy that had to get cancer. That was hard, and I didn't have the answers, but Compton helped them to understand."

Various treatments were tried by the staff at Wolverhampton's Nuffield Hospital, but Leasa says Tony, who also leaves a 28-year-old son Sam, never gave up hope of a full recovery.

"He even had a business meeting in hospital the night before he passed away," she says.

Like Tony, 61-year-old Doug Abbiss from High Street, Kinver, near Stourbridge, was also sceptical about seeking Compton's help when he was diagnosed with an incurable cancer in the groin in 2009.

"I had preconceptions about what it was going to be like ­— old people sat around a table, all staring at the television, and so I refused to go at first," he says.

Five years on, the painting sessions at the Woods Day Centre are one of the highlights of his week.

"It's something I have been wanting to do since I was a child," he says.

"I wanted to be an artist when I left school, but my dad thought I should be bringing some money into the house, and I ended up as a works foreman.

"I love every minute I do the painting, but it can be difficult at times with the illness. When I do get to the Woods Centre I get engrossed in it. I've even had requests from other people for me to paint them pictures."

Doug was first diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma in 2005, after discovering a lump in his neck, but the lump was successfully removed. However, four years later, he discovered several more lumps in the groin, and this time was told it was incurable.

"I was given some treatment, chemotherapy and radiotherapy, during which time the cancer started to cause spinal cord compression," he says.

"The pressure on my spinal cord left me almost paralysed, I had to spend weeks lying on my back and I had to teach myself how to walk again. It was a horrible time, the worst time in my life.

"The chemo left me in a practically vegetative state, but eventually I started to get better."

Doug was told after his first course of chemotherapy in 2009, that he had just six months to live, although a further course of chemotherapy would give him an extra three months.

"By that time, I started to think more about the quality of life, and decided it wasn't worth it for an extra three months."

Nearly five years on, Doug is aware that every day is a bonus, and says the support he has received from the hospice has been tremendous.

"My self-confidence has improved a lot," he says.

"I feel comfortable speaking to strangers and things. It's nice to make new friends, and is always sad when you lose a few.

"I've been going to the Woods Centre for about four years, and I've enjoyed every minute of it.

"I think if anybody gets a chance to go to a place like Compton, they should take it. It brings you out of yourself, and gives you support.

"And you don't sit around thinking about what's going to happen, it takes your mind off that, you think about other things."

To donate to Compton Hospice, call 0845 2255 497 or visit www.compton-hospice.org.uk/donate/online/