'That moment he died is frozen in time and I relive it every day' - The heartbroken mother of murdered Richard Deakin

It's been almost four years since Richard Deakin was killed.

It was clear from the outset that this was not ordinary murder, if there is such a thing.

A 27-year-old father of two, shot with a sawn-off shotgun as he lay in his own bed on a sunny July morning in quiet, sleepy Chasetown.

It was a crime that truly shocked a community.

And heartbroken mother Carol Deakin still feels the pain every single day.

"Nobody who hasn't lived through it knows what it's like to lose a son," she told the Express & Star.

"That moment when he died is frozen in time. Every single Monday (Mr Deakin was killed at 8.30 on Monday July 5, 2010) I relive it.

"Every Sunday night, when I shut the curtains I think about what's going to happen tomorrow. I wake up and I relive getting up, going to work, sitting at my desk and receiving that phonecall. I'm just there living that moment every Monday, I have done since the day he died.

"Every night I close my eyes and I always say out loud or in my head, goodnight son, I love you, I miss you so much, what have they done to you?"

Contract killers David Harrison and Darryl Dickens have already been convicted of Richard's murder.

The gunman and getaway driver are behind bars for 37 and 30 years respectively.

But at Woolwich Crown Court yesterday Tipton man John Anslow – Harrison's nephew, accused of organising the murder – was found not guilty by a unanimous verdict.

So for Carol the seemingly endless quest for justice carries on. She believes there are others behind the heinous crime that have not been made to pay for killing her son.

Around £26,000 was found in Bilston man Harrison's other home in Folkestone when police searched his property.

This was crucial evidence used in his murder trial, which took place at Birmingham Crown Court in December 2012.

Carol, perhaps surprisingly said she often thinks of the killers' families and wonders how it has affected their lives.

"I think about their families every day," Carol, from Cheslyn Hay, said.

"I'm a family orientated person, my family are my life, and I do think about it.

"A friend of mine said to me, 'I can't believe you think about their family when they've caused you so much pain'.

"I say, at the end of the day children are the innocent party here and they'll be brought up with no family environment, it's been taken away from them as well and that to me is very very sad.

"And whenever I see my grandchildren I think about Richard. One of them looks so much like her daddy and the other one has got her daddy's ways.

"I think about them growing up with no daddy and it's absolutely tragic."

The murder brought sharp focus to a normally sedate part of the world and shined a spotlight on Carol and her family that she never ever envisaged happening.

"I can't actually believe it's happening to us, she said.

"I see it on the TV and I can't believe that's my son they're talking about. I can't believe it's happened to such a normal family who's never been in trouble in their life.

"And for what reason? Richard was a polite, loveable guy who everybody liked."

It has been four long years since his death and Carol said she had almost all of his belongings stored in her home, including a pair of trainers she hung outside the day that he died which have never been moved since.

She said her son's two daughters always talk about their father and that his memory will always be kept alive, through her and through them.

"The children are absolutely beautiful little girls who've been brought up very well," Carol said.

"Megan's done a fantastic job with them.

"They always talk about their daddy, I see them regularly and my house is their own, I'll always be there for them."

"We emptied Richard's house and 90 per cent of his belongings are at my house.

"The loft is full of his belongings, his shoes are in boxes, everything's with me and they'll be passed down to my grandsons as they grow older.

"As the girls get older as well I want them to have things that belonged to their daddy. His trainers – the weekend before he died his trainers were by the back door as he always took his shoes off before he came into the house.

"When he died I hung the trainers on the gate and they're still there now.

"I look out of the back door and I always say hello son.

"It sounds silly talking to a pair of trainers, but I do, and I can't ever see me moving them.

The heartbroken mother has now had to sit through two murder trials for her son and she admitted that coping with the enormous grief of his death never gets easier.

And her determined fight for justice won't end here.

"The fight for justice keeps me going, 100 per cent" she added.

"If it was the other way round Richard would fight to the end to get justice for me, so that's what I'm going to do for him."