A Rick Astley virus? Over my dead mobile

Inevitably they have done it. Criminals have managed to create a computer virus that infects mobile "smart" phones,

.

I say inevitably because it isn't really a result of the criminals and virus creators branching out into mobile phone hacking, it's our phones becoming computers that provided them the way in.

Mobile phone viruses have been around since 2004 but they never really managed to do much damage.

As long as you didn't accept random files through Bluetooth that were claiming to be pictures of Megan Fox wearing just her orange tan you were fine.

Over in Holland users of the Apple iPhone who have tried to get out of their contracts by "cracking" their handsets have left themselves exposed to a worm called Duh or Ikee.B.

Users who visited the website of bank ING found their phones became the slaves of the criminals, ready to do their bidding and perform any commands the rotters might have.

This, however, is nothing compared to the first virus to attack the iPhone.

Two weeks ago some insidious individual created a virus that automatically changes the background to a picture of 80s singer Rick Astley, whose own fame was a bit like a plague, spreading quickly from host to host until eventually it burned out never to be suffered again.

As our technology gets more sophisticated and we come to rely on it like never before, so it becomes more and more fragile.

As Scotty said in Star Trek III when he sabotaged the Excelsior – "the more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain".

The truly annoying thing about these new-fangled phone viruses has yet to fully emerge, but mark my words it is beginning to.

Pretty soon I predict we will be offered anti virus software as standard with our phones.

That means sticking an extra £20 quid or more on the price tag. The brilliant 32gb storage of the new iPhones will be diminished by the need for protective software and just as you're trying to send that email, the one with the video attachment of the chimp smelling its fingers and falling off the branch in disgust, your phone will freeze up as the software insists on doing its scan.

Not that I object to the software developers making a bit of money as they protect us from the criminals, you understand. I'm just concerned about the damage to my phone.

At the moment if I think my computer has crashed or is too slow, I think about chucking it out the window, pause and consider the weight and the practicality and go and make a cup of tea.

If my phone starts misbehaving or crashing it's so small I might just make good on my violent thoughts. Still, at least it would make sure Rick Astley couldn't install himself unannounced.