Kirsty Bosley: Spending these days is such an embarrassment of riches

There's so much bonkers money floating around in English football these days that I've become desensitised to what it really means.

When the disgustingly rich Manchester City 'snapped up' the appropriately named Sterling this week for £49 million, I wasn't even shocked. I thought that kind of crazy cash was chucked around in sport all the time.

A friend of mine dropped a possibly-untrue but altogether believable fact into conversation the following day. The owner of the club could pay for the footballer with the money he'd make in just a few hours.

Again, it didn't really mean anything to me. I've never been a whizz at maths, and so unless I can picture how many Quorn sausages or months rent that amount of money would buy me, I couldn't possibly quantify it.

So I went about trying to envision it. I researched the most expensive cognacs I could find, the most luxurious super yachts, the poshest cigars and handbags made out of poor, unfortunate crocodiles. I could buy dozens of supercars, a big, big house in the country or an overrated footballer from Liverpool FC.

But for all my trying, I still couldn't understand what it really meant. And then it hit me all at once, courtesy of a visit to a women's refuge centre.

The Haven is a charity that supports women and children affected by domestic violence and homelessness. I went along to meet a woman who had been the victim of emotional and financial abuse to further enhance my understanding of the important role they play in my community.

I'd never really heard of it before – the only domestic abuse I'd ever understood was when Little Mo was being beaten by Trevor in EastEnders some years ago. It's easy to overlook abuse when there's not a woman with a black eye or a bloody nose.

But the shocking fact is, financial abuse is common, and it's a heartbreaking fact of life for many women. The lady told me how her partner controlled her money, giving her funds to feed herself and her baby only if she 'earned it' in sexual favours.

It was horrible to hear – especially when the woman told me that she believed her six-year-old daughter's health issues may have been caused by holding in all of the stresses and anxieties of being moved from pillar to post inside.

The little girl had been so happy and jolly, putting on a brave face throughout the process, her mum told me. She'd tell her mum to cheer up and smile, even when their lives were in turmoil. Fortunately for the woman and her daughter, The Haven was there when they needed it. The support they gave her was invaluable, helping her emotionally and practically to begin a new life.

They helped her to obtain the skills she needed to successfully apply for jobs, to get her child into a permanent school and gave her a place to meet friends, obtain qualifications and start a new life. She's thriving now, but without The Haven, who knows where she'd be? Now she volunteers for them, helping other women and giving back.

They're an exceptional charity, but like any service, The Haven needs financial support to help those who need it. Last year they took a massive financial hit from the council, losing hundreds of thousands of pounds in funding.

The shocking fact of the matter is that the money that City paid for Sterling would fill that gap a gigantic 163 times.

But now, today, on the doorstep of The Haven, women are being turned away from their local shelter as they are constantly at capacity.

There is never room to manoeuvre. They don't leave them without support of course, referring women and children that need help and emergency, potentially life-saving refuge, elsewhere.

But they're referred away from the area that they know, increasing the upheaval of escaping an abusive relationship tenfold.

The terrifying reality of this, The Haven tell me, is that women often go back home to the nightmare of their everyday life, because it's simply the easiest option for them.

When there are lives relying on the support, with so many children requiring a safe, fresh start, it guts me to see the council decorating their building or spending £22m on refurbishment. Women are crying out for help, and you have a new, posh car park.

How can that be? In September, The Haven is holding a sponsored walk to generate support and to speak up, loudly, against domestic abuse. Every penny of sponsorship counts.

Seeing Manchester City dishing out £49m like it's a £3 tip to a waitress in Pizza Hut, sticks in my throat. It's a vulgar reality of modern football and one that I now understand more than ever.

It's hard to stay desensitised when you're this angry.