He's a living doll but it all sounds like a living hell

And if that's your sort of thing, Barbie's New York pad is pink heaven, candy floss come to life, a dream come true.

It has everything a Barbie fan could wish for including, of course, boyfriend Ken. Now Ken as a doll is just about acceptable with his perfect body, tan, sculpted hairline and million dollar wardrobe.

Ken as a bloke? Well that's just horrible, I'd say.

Like the winner of the Mr Vanity competition, Matt from London admitted spending seven hours grooming himself before hitting the town.

The title, incidentally, is his own admission as Britain's vainest man. He also reckons: "Jealousy is part of being this handsome. If I saw another me, I'd probably get jealous."

It's scary isn't it? Because this 29-year-old who has spent more than £100,000 on his appearance over the past 10 years, truly believes his efforts are the key to happiness.

There's the teeth with such a sparkle that a Boy Scout could light a fire with them, the bronzed torso you need to wear sunglasses to look at, and the manicures and pedicures for which he's coughed up £3,000.

Apparently, they are designed to have women everywhere worshipping at the shrine of this dazzling man. Of course, it's not on his radar that most of them might run a mile from such weird, so-called perfection.

But life can be tough for Marvellous Matt. As he points out: "Sometimes I just want a quiet night and I'll be hounded by women grabbing my bum."

Though while the massages, waxing, facials and a whole list of other beauty aids have clocked up a small fortune, at least he hasn't had plastic surgery.

"I don't think it would make me look any better. I don't have any negative features to be honest," he says.

Know something? Barbie's Ken is a much better bet. At least you can put him back in a drawer.