Elizabeth Joyce: The Oscar in the dullest category goes to. . .

Wait! What's that? Cate Blanchett's pulling some serious faces and saying some serious sentences in a seriously-wordy borefest at the local multiplex? Quick, order some tickets before they sell out.

Seriously, is it just me, or are the Best Actress nominees for this year's Oscars the dullest ever?

Figuratively and literally, it's a case of same old, same old.

It's enough to make you fall asleep in your popcorn.

There's a total of 31 previous nominations and wins between Dench, Streep and Blanchett. That's more nods than most other actresses have had hot dinners. Well, this is LA after all.

But doesn't that rather excessive number of pats on the back prove that maybe it's time for the Academy to broaden its horizons somewhat.

Yes, these three women are undoubtedly talented but that's not the only word that springs to my mind. Stuffy, earnest and boring are floating around in there too.

The only luvvie lady missing from the list is Winslet. Chuck her in and you've got a full house in everyone's least favourite game, blowhard bingo.

I know I'm being harsh here. Of course, these women have done some pretty splendid crowd-pleasers in their time: Mamma Mia! and Devil Wears Prada for Meryl, James Bond for Judi and Lord of the Rings for Cate.

Not too shabby.

But, when compared to this year's Best Film and Best Actor categories, Best Actress will be the moment in the ceremony when we all nip out to put the kettle on.

No one really cares who wins, it'll be nothing we haven't seen before.

The other contenders are Amy Adams and Sandra Bullock, who at least get pulses racing a little bit more. But where's the new blood? Where are the bombshells? The enigmas? Where are the women who really get bums on seats in the cinema?

Best Film and Best Actor have got these elements to spare. They comprise of actual blockbusters that people went to see and stratospheric names who pull in the punters by the millions.

Leonardo DiCaprio? Sure. Absolutely. A bona fide Hollywood star. But also a rare breed too – an actor who chooses exceptional films but ones that people actually want to see, not just say they have to seem smart and cultured and boast about on Twitter.

Inception, Django Unchained, The Wolf Of Wall Street: brilliant films, brilliant crowd-pleasers.

And who can argue with the Best Film nominees? For what feels like the first time ever, there's some absolute stormers listed. Captain Philips, American Hustle, Gravity: they all deserve to walk away with a little gold man because they've all entertained film-lovers a gazillion times over.

Who's actually going to hand over money to go and watch Meryl in August: Osage County this weekend?

Come on, be honest.

Don't try and be cool.

We all know you'd rather see Anchorman 2.

Stop acting.