Time to feel empowered and embrace the new year
And breathe. That's that. Over for another year. Christmas is done and dusted. New Year has come and gone.
Down comes all the sparkle and tinsel.
Gone are the weeks of merriment, excitement, happiness and joviality.
Farewell to warming glasses of spicy mulled wine and cheeky gin and tonics.
The kitchen cupboards are chock full of random and weird food stuffs, like milled pepper and anchovy encrusted gruyere, flaky butter crackers and chilli-infused chocolate cherry truffles.
The royal jelly smellies gift packs get shoved to the back of the bathroom cupboard.
On goes any article of clothing with an elasticated waistband.
Out comes the new gym kit, dusty exercise bike and rusty weights.
And a cloud full of the new year gloom and despondency hangs in air. Sigh.
Before I totally kill your mood in this first week of 2014, this isn't going to be really all that bad. Honest.
I love Christmas loads and loads but there is life beyond presents, port and pine needles. It's true.
So, things to look forward to. Here we go.
The shortest day is behind us so it will be getting lighter in the mornings and the evenings some time soon. Any day now it'll stop feeling like you're getting up for work in the middle of the night.
It's time to feel empowered, face challenges head on and work on those New Year resolutions. A real test of the old willpower.
Dry January is in full flow for a booze-free month but I'm ditching that. Take my weekend wine away from me and I may well become a snivelling nervous wreck.
Diets, detox and an all-round health kick are on the cards though. Well, that may be shortlived because another chocolate fest is imminent. Easter is lurking and will be upon us quicker than you can say Cadbury's Creme Egg. That's a good thing though, it's a long weekend.
The weather will get warmer. . . no guarantees on the rain shifting and the threat of snow could linger right up until April. But even if it shows no signs of being a balmy summer, then it's time to think about planning a hot and sizzling beach getaway to foreign shores. Holiday countdown time.
Downton Abbey will be back on television, in autumn, but it will return. Yay! Will Lady Mary still be playing hard to get? And who will be the goner? (Julian Fellowes must be itching to kill someone off, he's gone a whole series without death, apart from that valet chap).
See, there's plenty to smile about and let's face it, before you know it, it'll be Christmas. Only 352 days to go and I can't wait.
One last thing . . .
Please stop. Please stop phoning me Mrs Call Centre Worker and telling me that your records show that I've been in a car accident in the last three years.
It's very generous of you to inform me I may be entitled to some compensation. But here's the thing, and it's a biggy; surely I would remember either smashing into the back of another vehicle or a fellow motorist crashing into my car? Would I really forget whiplash and the hassle of insurance claims? Trust me. I have no knowledge of this accident and I don't know where you are getting your information. So please, STOP?CALLING?ME!