The 90s: So where did it all go wrong?
They say if you can remember the 1960s then you weren't really there. Well, I was and I've got the silver fillings to prove it.
But all I can recall – vaguely – is a doctor coming to visit while I was ill with scabies, rabies or some other disease kids no longer get.
The 70s was all about pudding bowl cuts, power cuts, Filey, The Brotherhood of Man and knitted tank tops, forced on me by my well-meaning mum.
My 80s ordeal was even worse; fashions so bad that I actually chose to wear a tank top. Thanks for that, Haircut 100. Not such a Fantastic Day after all.
But the 90s? Man! What a decade.
I was a 21-year-old in a new town with a new job and attacking every Stafford Borough Council report like it was Watergate Part 2.
I was even in the union although I quit in a row over working conditions, support for Nicaraguan pig farmers – or biscuits. I can't recall exactly which, but it was one of those. And my money is on the Hob Nobs.
The decade began well with Italia '90 of course; Gazza's tears, Waddle's perm and the last genuinely great World Cup we'll ever see. Brilliantly, it was also accompanied by the best-ever football song, as love put the world in motion and gave us John Barnes' finest performance in an England shirt, rapping along to New Order.
It wasn't the last memorable footy moment either; Euro '96 showed we could still 'do' big sporting events and football was on the crest of a new wave. Sky, Shearer, Skinner and Baddiel all helped restore the game from its 80s nadir to heights not seen since Shankly was a lad.
On a personal note, I did all the things twentysomethings were supposed to do at the time.
I got married, became a proud dad and got on the property ladder with a creaky old terrace that cost £38,000. And I was going to be rich, be able to retire at 46 and spend my days playing on the Megadrive, all thanks to that handy little phrase 'endowment mortgage'.
There was even this thing called the internet which – by some miracle – would bring dubious pictures of Pamela Anderson into your spare bedroom. But only if you were prepared to wait for it to download line by line while putting up with a high-pitched whine for 20 minutes. (I did mention I got married, didn't I?)
With Tony Blair landsliding his way into power against an Oasis soundtrack, the 90s gave people a sense of optimism and renewal not seen for decades.
For a brief five-year period, we had great music, great football and a new breed of politicians that offered hope that things really could change.
What could go wrong? Everything, as it turns out.
The Gallagher brothers quickly imploded, Blair was a tiny bit of a war-monger and, worst of all, England let Gareth Southgate take a penalty. Game over.
But it was good while it lasted and no decade before or since has been brought as much personal or social change.
There were no mobile phones, no broadband, no Facebook, Twitter, Sky+ or 3G – and social networking involved a quaint concept known as 'going to the pub'.
So would I rather give up all today's technological 'advances' and go back to the 1990s?
Not maybe. Definitely.