Billie Eilish: Sometimes I feel trapped in this persona I’ve created
The singer said people did not always view her as a woman.
Billie Eilish has said she has “never felt desired” in relationships and sometimes feels trapped in the persona she has created because “people view me not as a woman”.
The Bad Guy singer has become well-known for her signature style of baggy ensembles.
She told GQ magazine: “Here’s a bomb for you: I have never felt desired. My past boyfriends never made me feel desired. None of them.
“And it’s a big thing in my life that I feel I have never been physically desired by somebody. So I dress the way I dress as I don’t like to think of you guys – I mean anyone, everyone – judging it, or the size of it.
“But that doesn’t mean that I won’t wake up one day and decide to wear a tank top, which I have done before.
“Sometimes I dress like a boy. Sometimes I dress like a swaggy girl. And sometimes I feel trapped by this persona that I have created, because sometimes I think people view me not as a woman.
“I have never felt powerful in a relationship. I did once and, guess what, I took advantage of that person’s kindness. I wasn’t used to it.
“It’s been months and I am not attracted to people anymore. I don’t know what’s going on … It’s actually kind of dope.”
Eilish, 18, said she went through a period of wanting to be like her peers at school but that that urge disappeared quite quickly.
She said: “I would only go to so-called trendy shops and wear what was considered by some as trendy. It was a very uncomfortable year. Also, because I wasn’t rich, and a lot of my friends were rich, that was very hard to deal with.
“But that went away pretty fast; no idea why. Since then I’ve never felt comfortable looking like other people.”
The full feature is in the July/August issue of GQ, available via digital download and on newsstands on June 5.
