Sat-nav vs maps: It’s a tough one, says Sarah Cowen-Strong

‘Good idea’, he replied, ‘only you’re pointing to a railway line!’ This was of course an easy mistake to make, and nothing to do with the fact that I can’t tell my gradients from my rocky outcrops. I think that’s what he said anyway.

Well, who looks at maps these days? Even my navigation supremo hadn’t put one in the car – relying, as ever, on the masterful tones of Sally sat-nav to steer us across the highways and byways.

It’s no wonder that when presented with one on a tourist brochure, the shock can make you fumble and make panic decisions about whether or not to drive down a bridle path.

Last month, we followed one such map trail, taking us round various points in leafy Worcestershire.

With no accurate scale, we missed a turning, accidentally missed out several villages and so googled the postcode of our next destination and turned the sat-nav back on.

These little devices must have, undoubtedly, saved so many relationships.

I’m sure lots of people of a certain age remember that cry of: “You’ve got the map, where the **** are we!?”, as you tried to decipher which way was up. I blamed my lack of expertise on travel sickness, small children and even smaller print.

Put me outside the anxiety and desperation smouldering away in a vehicle on the road to nowhere and I’m fine. I can recognise a youth hostel and a trig point and work out where to cross a river. But in the melting pot of a lost car, when asked a simple question about location, I have been known to pale, put my head in my hands and whisper ‘I don’t even care’.

Sat-navs are not, however, without their faults – we’ve all heard the tales of motorists being directed up garden paths and across small streams. Last week, ours went into battle. Overlooking the fact it was set up to take us the last few miles of a long journey we sought directions on my phone to the nearest supermarket.

All was good to start with. The phone voice told us we’d be in the store car park in four minutes. We turned right like she said. Second left. Straight on at the roundabout. Funny, we had nine minutes still to go. We’d done as directed but the shop was getting further away. Moments later – you are at your destination, – only it wasn’t the phone voice – it was the sat-nav whose directions had seemingly overridden those of the phone. It was a mad moment of technical over-exertion and the worst thing was we WERE at our destination, without the wine which, by now, we desperately needed.

Never mind, we’re driving up the length of England to the Caledonian Canal next week. Heaven help us.