My Perfect Weekend - Alexei Sayle
Liverpudlian funnyman Alexei Sayle is returning to live performance with his first stand-up tour in more than 16 years. Here, he explains to The Ticket what makes his perfect weekend.
OMG – where did the week go! Again! When you work for yourself you need to be more disciplined than I am if you want to be able to take the weekend off.
I find work bleeds into the weekend so Friday afternoon doesn't have the same meaning for me as it does when you work normal hours. On the plus side I can go out mid-week and get slaughtered without worrying about getting up for work in the morning.
Who normally has the pleasure of your company at the weekend?
My cat Wilf – we spend a lot of time chasing rubber balls. This is tragic but true.
We got Wilf 2 years ago when he turned up as a lost stray in an acquaintance's garden. Posters and enquiries failed to turn up any claimants even though he was obviously a much-loved pet – he's more domesticated than me! – so he settled in very quickly.
We took him to the vet for a check-up when we first got him and it turns out he is a pedigree Maine Coon – an American breed. He is huge and seems very bright so he often wins when we play any games.
How do you prepare for a big night out?
With trepidation.
What's your favorite party outfit?
NOT the Lib Dems.
You've just arrived at the bar. What's your first drink?
If I'm honest, probably a lime and soda. I find the best way to get accidentally drunk is to throw a few huge drinks down because you're really thirsty. Then what starts out as a quiet quick one turns into a lost night. So I usually have a large soft drink first and then I can choose how much I want to drink.
What's your favourite nightspot and why?
I don't really have one any more. I have a house in Spain and I'm fond of our local bar – Bar Nuevo.
It's painted in lurid colours with a litter-strewn floor, three TVs all tuned to different channels plus a huge sound system and the noisiest slot machines in the world.
It's freezing in winter and hot and smoke-filled in summer.
But it's got a nice terrace and you get really good tapas free with your drinks.
They rotate them – meatballs, then little sausages and chips, then lamb stew etc – and if you find yourself in the bar when a tapas comes round for the second time it means it's time to go home. You have been there too long already.
What tune always gets you on the dance floor?
Nearly anything – I love dancing.
It's a sunny Saturday, what are you up to?
Cycling manically in circles round and round Regents Park in London.
Me and dozens of men in tight Lycra follow each other round.
What was your most memorable weekend, and why?
Visiting the Somme because I've just done that so I can still remember it.
What's the recipe for a perfect night in?
Like everybody's – nice food and something good on the television.
Favourite DVD? And what would you eat while watching it?
Breaking Bad. Takeaway Indian.
Sunday breakfast – cooked or continental?
Cooked – as long as someone else is doing the cooking
Sunday lunch – home cooked or down the pub?
Home cooking – again as long as it's not me doing the cooking.
When and how do you like to relax?
As often as possible.
You've got a whole weekend off and a wad of money in your back pocket. Which country or city would you head to?
Probably Liverpool – it still amazes me after all these years.
* Catch Alexei at The Public in West Bromwich on Wednesday at 8pm. Call 0121 533 7161.
He also plays Birmingham's Glee Club on November 11 and Wulfrun Hall on October 24.
