Andy Richardson: Living the American dream or nightmare?

We'd flown out from Heathrow to interview some band or other – I can't remember who they were: if I could, I wouldn't have been having a good enough time.

Virgin Atlantic whisked us across The Pond while serving unlimited free booze, so we flew Vodka Class. Photographer Martyn Goodacre was the talent and I was his sidekick. He was one of the greatest rock'n'roll photographers of all. He'd earlier gunned for the rock star dream and played in a band called Fabulous. They weren't. So he stuck to taking pictures.

And he was brilliant. He'd taken one of the most iconic and famous rock shots of all time: a haunting portrait of Nirvana's Kurt Cobain that was used worldwide following the icon's suicide. It made Martyn a rock star with a camera. So when we touched down, I was bleary eyed and woozy but he had the energy of Keith Richards after a spa weekend.

The bands we were interviewing were dirty punks, so we made like Lou Reed and took a Walk On The Wild Side. We found ourselves in the city's Meatpacking District, the acme of alternative.

Transgender nightclubs and sleazy bars were a small part of its overwhelming nightlife scene, providing Martyn with the perfect backdrop for his shots.

After an extraordinary night on the town, we repaired to our hotel. But Goodacre wasn't done.

"Let's check out now and go to The Chelsea," he said, invoking one of the city's most famous landmarks. "We have to stay in The Chelsea Hotel, otherwise we can't say we've done New York."

The Chelsea is remarkable. It's list of notable visitors includes Mark Twain, William S Burroughs, Arthur Miller, Gore Vidal, Tennessee Williams, Allen Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac, Dylan Thomas, Stanley Kubrick, Dennis Hopper, Uma Thurman, Jane Fonda, Russell Brand, Patti Smith, Iggy Pop, Edith Piaf, Bob Dylan, Alice Cooper, Jimi Hendrix, Sid Vicious and Andy Warhol, among hundreds of others. Hell, Madonna liked it so much that she lived there during the early 1980s and returned in 1992 to shoot her coffee table book, Sex.

It's featured in more cool films, videos and TV shows than any other hotel in the world; from 9 ½ Weeks and Sid and Nancy to Leon and Romeo Is Bleeding. And it's been immortalised in songs by Joni Mitchell, Leonard Cohen, Billy Joel and Ryan Adams, not forgetting featuring in a library's worth of books.

Once the work was done, we almost missed the flight home. We'd bought duty free handheld video consoles and were busy playing with those and supping frozen margaritas at New York's JFK airport, oblivious to the time, when we heard our names called by an irate security guard. He boomed across the tanoy that everyone else was on board and the flight would take off in 15 minutes – with or without us on board.

Similarly raucous American trips took us out to Washington; where a stadium band's after show party consisted almost exclusively of them getting to know dumb blondes. A job in Kansas and St Louise saw OasisMania in full flow. And a trip to LA with the Red Hot Chili Peppers ought to have been written for Wild Times, rather than NME. During a photoshoot with ace Mancunian lensman Kevin Cummins, who listed New Order, Joy Division, The Smiths and The Stone Roses among his regulars, RHCP drummer Chad Smith played a trick. The Chilis were wearing silver hot pants, having earlier filmed a video with synchronised swimmers and women in gold lame catsuits. As you do. Chad decided his hot pants were a bit restrictive. So when Kevin later developed his photographs, he found Chad had ruined every one by revealing more of himself than any of us wanted. Whether it's Super Bowls or rock'n'roll, whether it's some of the most beautiful landscapes in the world or burgers: America is Triple XXXL. While we've got Cbeebies, they've got Disney. While we've got Mount Snowdon, they've got Mount Denali. While we've got the River Severn, they've got the Mississippi. And while we've got the Vauxhall Corsa, they've got a Little Red Corvet.

We watch football in stadiums that play The Liqudator, serve meat pies and are filled with sportsmen who fall over with a shove in the back. Americans watch basketball, American football and ice hockey in colossal amphitheatres, groove to Lady Gaga at half time, feast on triple-super-massive-burgers and watch gladiators roar like lions as they bid to be crowned best.

We have a PM who promises to Brexit, they have one who's gonna Make America Great Again.

American Dream? For sure. Dream on.

By Andy Richardson