Kirsty Bosley: Feeling old, theme park spy cam and cutting uni grants

Talking of age, I was left terribly embarrassed this week when Richard Osman crowned a Child Genius on Channel 4.

No wait, that sounds like birthing terminology. He of course didn't 'crown her', he just gave her a trophy, but you know what I mean. Ten-year-old Rhea took home the title after answering complex questions and spelling words that barely anyone uses, like thelytokous and eleemosynary. Not even my computer can spell thelytokous, as evidenced by the red squiggly line of idiocy below it. I feel ashamed at my own lack of smarts, but more annoyed that I paid nigh-on £600 for a computer that can't even outsmart a primary school aged child.

It's never to late to learn though, as 87-year-old Stourbridge College student Stan Holley has proved.

The senior citizen has taken up English and maths lessons every Friday. Good for him to still be challenging himself. He left school originally at 14 to train as a carpenter. The great-grandad has seen his exam marks improving as he goes along, and has made new friends to boot. After working as a carpenter for half a century, he retired to take care of his wife who later died. What an inspirational dude – keep up the great work, Stan!

And the inspiration has just kept coming this week.

Star reader Chloe Bailey from Market Drayton sent me an email to let me know that she'd raised £800 for OUCH (UK) – a charity that helps cluster headache patients. Chloe did a sponsored climb up Snowdon, which is no easy feat at the best of times. It was made more challenging by the fact that she has suffered with cluster headaches herself for 10 years. She also has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, which causes her pain and problems with her joints. So to make it to the top of a mountain? My mind is blown. And here's me moaning about a bit of back ache? I'm an idiot. Nice one, Chloe!

My physical health aside, I've still had plenty to moan about this week (surely you know me well enough by now to expect this twist).

For a start, Donald Trump still exists, and I am yet to wake up to find that it's all been a bad dream and that a crazed businessman with terrible hair isn't in the running for the most powerful political position on the planet. Sigh.

We also heard the rumour that Ed Balls may be taking to the Strictly Come Dancing studio to get footloose and fancy free in the new series of the show.

I am excited about this development, just because it will give us another opportunity to write 'Balls out' in a headline when he gets eliminated from proceedings. I might be feeling older of late, but I'm still very much a child at heart (sorry boss, please don't sack me).

I also learnt this week that Disney has patented a system that will allow them to track their theme park guests using their footwear.

It can't be just me that thinks this is weird? The system would use sensors and cameras to check out people's shoes on arrival, using that info to track them around the grounds as they go. This would mean that they'd know which shops, shows and rides are popular and which aren't. But I think there's a more basic way of doing this, rather than getting all Big Brother on people: just ask them? Otherwise park visitors aren't going to be able to even go to the loo without someone knowing where they are. And that's just too much!

From too much to not enough, as of Monday, kids going to uni in England will no longer be able to apply for grants to help them with their living costs.

Grants for students whose parents earn less than £25,000 a year will have to take a loan if they want help to live through their studies, as the full grant of £3,387 will no longer be available to them. It's terrible news to hear. How do those with nothing ever make anything when these are the barriers put up against them? It's cyclic and it's miserable – a move that will almost definitely put some of the most promising young minds off studying.

When George Osborne announced the change, he stated that there was a 'basic unfairness in asking taxpayers to fund grants for people who are likely to earn a lot more than them'.

I feel like this is an extremely stupid idea. Surely we want to secure the future of our economy, especially now that we're leaving the EU? We need to encourage the smart to become smarter, those with potential to develop it. Sure, it'll cost us £3,387 in the short term, but if it means new doctors, nurses, lawyers and business people, then isn't that a small price to pay?

I'm sure that on Monday, my tax bill won't drop dramatically – we will still be paying up, as we ever did. Just one paid tax bill from a greedy offshore corporation would settle it, I expect. But who cares when we can keep the rich rich and the poor poor, eh?

Oh well, what do I know? I couldn't even answer a single question on Child Genius, and I get paid to know words.

And to end on a high note, a family of five from Monmouth have scooped more than £61,102,443 on the EuroMillions.

Sonia Davies, 53, her partner Keith, 55, and daughters Courtney, 19, and Stephanie, 23, along with Stephanie's partner, Steve Powell, 30, have said that they're 'living the dream' after the huge win. Colour me green with envy. That's plenty enough money to fund many university places, pay for everyone in Monmouthshire to go to Disneyland to be followed about by Big Brother and still leave them with a chunk of change. Probably.

Well done, you lot. Lend us a fiver.