Kirsty Bosley: Justin time to reveal a guilty pleasure
My name is Kirsty Bosley and I am a Belieber. There, I've said it now.
With this revelation, I readily accept the consequences.
I am mentally prepared for the forthcoming ridicule, hate and loss of respect from friends, family, followers and readers. I accept that I should expect calls for my resignation. But I just had to speak up.
I've been holding this in now since Justin Bieber released Boyfriend in 2012. 'Chilling by the fire while we eatin' fondue,' was the line that got me. You know how much I love cheese. Oh, and that amazing production. And, like it or not, his beautiful voice.
Enjoying Justin Bieber's musical output is not the done thing for adults.
Through 2012, 2013 and 2014 I just 'liked' the Biebs. But with the release of Purpose in November, his fourth studio album, I have to admit that like turned to love. Not much has made me really want to dance for a while, but when I listen to songs like Sorry and What Do You Mean? I can't stop myself from moving.
Furthermore, looking through the album credits, I learned that Biebs himself co-wrote every song on the record. He's much more than a glorified karaoke singer with a horde of screaming girl fans. I achieved absolutely naff all by the time I was 22, let alone multi-platinum chart success.
I feel that Justin has been unfairly criticised over the years. When I first got a full-time job, I spent a month's wages in one day, splashing cash on DVDs, piercings, trips away and alcohol. What I would have done with the millions that Bieber has, I dread to think. Truth be told, I'd probably be dead, or in rehab.
If you gave any teenager millions of pounds, they'd get themselves into trouble. And of course, Bieber has on occasion. The media has had a field day ripping him apart. People poke fun at every decision he makes, as though they themselves have cruised through life without putting a single foot wrong.
Justin has been held up by music snobs as the poster boy for all that is wrong with the industry. Every stupid thing he's ever done has been magnified a trillion times over – the pet monkey quarantined in Germany, the drunk driving and speeding – and hated for it.
Sure, he's been an absolute idiot at times, but does he deserve to be sent to hell for it? Well, some certainly think so. When the singer performed at the Brit Awards last week, surrounded by fire licking at the stage, 'haters' took to Twitter.
"I hope Justin Bieber falls in that fire," said one Twit. "Anyone else want to set Justin Bieber on fire?!" asked another. "Gutted. . . thought we were getting a Bieber cremation when I saw that fire!" added a third. And that's just a snapshot of it.
I think it's really sad that people can be so horrible about him. Not only because I think he's ace (have you heard Love Yourself?!), but just because he's a young guy pursuing, and succeeding at, a pop career.
Music aside, Biebs has done some wonderful things for charities and good causes. On Valentine's Day in 2011, Justin surprised six-year-old Avalanna Routh, a fan with terminal brain cancer, by flying her to New York. There, he spent the day playing board games and eating cupcakes with her. He made her short life a more joyous one, and that's something we shouldn't forget.
Whenever anyone criticises him now, I think about that little girl's happy face in the photos of them together and I sigh.
How much more wonderful the world would be if we stopped the unnecessary hate and began to celebrate the successes of others instead.
Our obsession with celebrities is really strange. It's not just The Biebs who has his every move criticised by all and sundry.
Every musician, actor and athlete that enjoys even one iota of success somehow becomes public property in the eyes of millions of people around the globe.
For every stupid mistake they make, there's oodles of people there to hold them accountable and demand apologies.
Every time they get home from the pub looking worse for wear, they're photographed and ridiculed.
No sooner do they start dating someone new that the fandom creates a portmanteau of their names – I expect that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had only just shared their first kiss when the papers started calling them Brangelina.
It's revolting really, isn't it?
And this week, when Liam-off-of-One-Direction shared a photograph of himself cuddled up with Cheryl Tweedy-or-is-it-Cole-or-is-it-Fernandez-Versini, everyone demanded answers: Why were they cuddling? Was it a new relationship? Is this confirmation that she's put her marriage behind her? How old is she anyway? How old is he? How many boyfriends is this?
Fans of the 1D heartthrob shared their thoughts online. "It's a rebound!" they say. "He's just a boy!" they cry. Another asked: "If Cheryl and Liam are together, does that make them a CHAM?" Har-har, very clever, I'm sure.
The news was shared far and wide. The pair first met when Liam was 14 at The X Factor auditions, and again when he was 17 and joined the boy band. Rumour has it that he's got a new tattoo of a rose, a nod to Cheryl's own bum cheek rose tattoos.
The world has been ablaze with gossip and speculation. Cheryl has been married twice, is Liam going to be number three? Were they talking before Cheryl's relationship with Jean Bernard Fernandez-Versini was over? Were the pair sharing secret messages online way before now? Have they been carrying on under our noses? Is she going to change her name back? Can anyone root out video footage of when the pair first met? Can we find a photo of them hugging on The X Factor and work out whether there was any hidden meaning in the way Liam put his hand on Cheryl's back?
And all of these questions leave me with just one of my own: who cares?