Eleven fail-safe ways to win at Valentine's Day

We feel the overwhelming pressure to give our partners the perfect gift and day, and get so wound up worrying about whether we've chosen the best things that we forget what the day is meant to be all about.

But at least that's better than forgetting altogether!

In this post I'm going to teach you how to have a calm time preparing the best Valentine's day ever for your loved one. I'm going to strip everything back to basics, and give you 11 fail-safe ways to win at Valentine's Day.

1. Keep the real meaning of Valentine’s Day in mind

Well done! You've passed test one! In reading this article I'm assuming you've remembered the day and you're planning for it. Brilliant!

Now you need to keep in mind what you're planning for. Even if you hate Valentine's Day, but your partner loves it, and even if you're the least sappy and sentimental person in the world, you need to put some thought into this. It's all about your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife. Keep that in mind throughout your plans and you can't really go wrong.

The whole day needs to revolve around them, and showing them just how much you love them. You can do this even if you're not the most sentimental person in the world; they probably know you as well, or better, than you know yourself, and any sign of affection will be appreciated.

Valentine's Day 2015 is just another Saturday, there's nothing inherently special about it, but you have to make them feel like there is. If you keep them in mind, you shouldn't feel stressed about making it perfect. You should be excited about showing them how much you appreciate them.

2. Start planning the day early

Have you seen those people sifting through the reject cards in the petrol station or corner shop stand on the morning of Valentine's Day? Or doing the same with flowers? You don't want to be one of them. Trust me, your partner will know if there's little to no thought been put into everything.

If you want to win at Valentine's day, you need to put a bit of effort in. And that means sitting down in advance and planning what you're going to do. Will the romantic gestures start from the moment they wake up? Are you going to take them out for a meal in the evening? This will entail booking a table somewhere in advance, and trust me, the good ones will all be gone if you try to get a reservation on the day itself.

3. Talk about it in advance

Valentine's Day feels like a taboo subject you shouldn't speak about until the day itself. Especially if your partner expects a surprise. But sometimes it's better to bring it up well in advance of the day. That way you can talk about whether or not you both want to set a spending cap, whether your partner wants surprise presents, or has anything in mind they'd really like instead.

This is really handy if you're both trying to stick to a budget and you don't want to overspend. It'll keep the drama out of the day; after all, it's difficult to really enjoy a great present if you're fretting over how much it cost.

4. Do something thoughtful

Whatever you buy as a gift, that's probably not what they're going to remember from the day. No, what your loved one will really appreciate is the thoughtful things you do to show how much you appreciate them. Get a card, and actually spend some time writing down on it everything you love about them. Remind them of the amazing times you've had together. Include in-jokes that only you'll both understand. Tell them how proud you are of everything they've achieved since you've known them.

I know a lot of people struggle writing things like this, but the ideas above should give you a starting point. Don't worry if you're not the best with words, however you phrase it will be just perfect for them.

You could even take it a step further; write them letters they can open at different times. Maybe one for when they're feeling a little down, one for when you're both apart, one for when they can't sleep, one for when they need to be reminded how much you love them. Present them with a gift like that on Valentine's Day, and you're sure to have nailed it. Continue this into the day itself, remember to shower them with compliments. Not so many that it feels fake, but really pay attention to them all day and compliment them on things that should be complimented. This doesn't have to be all about the physical; compliment their laugh, their smile, their sense of humour, their kindness, their honesty.

5. Absolutely do not buy clothes as a gift

Oh it's the cliche isn't it? Clothes are the absolute worst idea for Valentine's though. What if you get the sizing wrong? Too small and they'll feel self-conscious, too big and they'll be insulted. Is there really any point in risking that? If your heart is really set on getting them clothes, the best thing you can do is tell them in advance, and offer to take them on a shopping trip (with a budget in place of course).

This doesn't sound as romantic as a surprise gift, but trust me when I say they'll prefer it, especially if you tell them why. You can always get them a separate, small, surprise gift (or maybe just the thoughtful card gift in the point above) on the day itself to show them you still wanted to give a surprise.

6. Whatever gift you get - make sure you get the best price

Don't buy a gift if you don't know whether you're really getting the best price for it. Always take two minutes to use a price comparison site to search for the thing you want, and find out which retailer is selling it for the best price. You'll even get a bit of cashback if you buy from selected retailers. You can put the money you've saved towards another gift for them, or the day itself.

Honestly, Valentine's Day is no reason to be out of pocket unnecessarily!

7. Flowers are only necessary if your partner likes them

Flowers are the staple of Valentine's Day, so much so, that many people are suggesting that men are expected to get them for women and they don't count as a main gift. Well let's throw that stereotype out shall we? I happen to know men who love plants: some love flowers, some love houseplants. Who's to say their partner shouldn't be the one buying them a plant? And I also know a multitude of girls who don't really like flowers.

So don't feel like you have to buy flowers this year. Of course, if your partner likes them or expects them because you get them each year, then by all means carry on. But if you think that money could go to something they'd like even more, then don't bother wasting it!

8. Tailor a gift to them

You'll find loads of gift guides online if you're looking for Valentine's Day gift ideas, but hardly any will be appropriate for you to buy. Why? Because everyone's different. Just like flowers aren't appropriate if they don't like flowers, any gift someone else suggests isn't right for them if it's not within their interests. Jewellery, perfume and beauty products aren't always the best thing to buy a girl, and sports gear, games, and aftershave isn't always right for a guy. We're not all walking, talking stereotypes.

Take the ideas for gifts and model them to your partner. Yes, it takes effort, that's what the day's about. Taking the time and effort to think of what they love and enjoy, and enjoying that with them.

9. Replay your first date

Have you been together long enough that you both look back on your first date with fond memories? Well, make this Valentine's Day one they really won't forget and replay that first date.

Go to the cinema to see a film, or go for a meal at the same place you went to before.

Remind them why you fell in love with them over the evening. Believe me when I say you'll both enjoy it, and it'll rekindle a little bit of the romance you might have lost over time.

10. Have a day off together

Sometimes life gets in the way of a relationship. It happens to all of us from time to time. Whether you've been going out for a few months or you're married with kids, this is still a killer idea for Valentine's Day. This year it happens to fall on a Saturday. So arrange to have a day inside, doing absolutely nothing together. No responsibilities, no answering the door or phone, and no kids (remember to ask the grandparents or their friend's parents to look after them for the night!).

Rent a good film, and buy some good food. Or better yet, forget cooking for the night and arrange to have a takeaway together. Just spend the day relaxing and make it all about each other.

11. Dress up for each other

Again, life often gets in the way,and the majority of time, especially for long-term couples, we see each other in trackies and dressed down on a daily basis.

Tell them they'll need to dress up for Valentine's evening the night before, so they can prepare for it. Don't spring it on them an hour before you both have to leave the house. Make an effort too so that you both feel your best, and make sure to compliment them on how they look. Remind each other that you allow each other to see the worst, and the best sides of yourself.

You can find Valentine's gift ideas for him, her and every taste over on the Scoperks blog, along with lots more money saving advice!