Peter Rhodes: Don't drive the rich away

IT is that time of year when car batteries, including mine, pack up. Thankfully, the accumulated wisdom of the universe is now available on the internet where a motorists' forum offers the following information on how to find the age of a battery: "Saw it in half and count the rings."

ANOTHER contributor knows better. He responds: "Don't be stupid, that's for onions."

A READER tells me he was shocked at the premiums demanded by a private-health insurance company so he rang them to terminate his inquiry. The company responded by immediately dropping the asking price for the premium by £30 a month. Some customers might take the view that they had haggled a bargain price. Others will wonder why the lower price was not offered in the first place. If an insurance company's first contact with you is based on deceit, why should you trust them to help you when you really need them?

MORSE'S amazing cars. After last week's Ford Consul Classic among the props in Endeavour (ITV), did we all clock the 3.5 Rover in Sunday's episode? Perfect.

DID you catch the truly beautiful voice of Professor Marie Jackson on Today (Radio 4)? The Utah-based professor has a low, slow, thoughtful drawl with just the faintest echo of Marilyn Monroe. She is an expert on, of all things, ancient Roman concrete but her voice is like cream pouring over velvet. In an age when most folk tend to grunt and whine, an engaging speaking voice is a rare, precious and rather old-fashioned thing.

OXFAM reports that the eight richest men on this planet have as much wealth as half of the world's population. It's an interesting global statistic designed to make us despair at the unfairness of the world. But the UK figures are no less fascinating. In Britain, just 3,000 highly-paid people contribute more income tax than the lowest-paid 300,000. Before long, no one earning less than £12,500 will pay any income tax at all, while a £50 million-a-year magnate pays enough in tax to employ nearly 1,000 NHS nurses. We may dislike the super-rich, despise their vulgar limos and sneer at their gold-plated yachts. But if we ever drove them out of the country there would be a massive black hole in the UK economy and who would have to fill it? (Clue: look in the mirror).

AFTER last week's item on how the rich and famous have mastered the art of slyly slipping a tip to waiters without the bosses noticing, I should explain that, being neither rich nor famous, I am still fumbling. Some time ago, leaving a very nice restaurant after a fine meal, I grandly slipped the head waiter a fiver. And realised in that awful split-second as the note passed from my palm into his, that it was not a fiver but a £20 note. There is absolutely nothing you can do in such circumstances except hold the smile and wait until you are in the car before weeping.

A READER asks, if somebody takes a pot-shot at President Trump, will the bodyguards shout: "Donald, duck!"