The tail wags the dog

GOT your annual tax summary yet? This is the new form, sent at great expense by HM Revenue & Customs, to millions of us wage slaves. The purpose, according to the bumf which accompanies it, is to explain how your tax is calculated and spent. And very interesting it is, too. I had no idea, for example, that more than a third of the tax I pay goes straight into paying state pensions. But the tax summary serves another useful purpose. It will be dropping unexpectedly through the doorsteps of many people who had no idea the taxman knew so much about them. So if you earned £100,000 last year and paid £35 income tax, the real message is: We're on to you, Chummy, expect a visit.

BENEFITS Street (C4) returns next year, this time examining the lager-fuelled underclass in Stockton-on-Tees. In response, a local campaign has been launched to promote the town's image. It is called The Positively Stockton-on-Tees campaign, to be known as Psst for short. Seriously.

IF you believe some pundits, the Chancellor's Autumn Statement (why does he deliver it in winter?) opens up real choice for the 2015 General Election with acres of clear blue water between Labour and the Conservatives. The received wisdom is that elections are decided by the economy. But what if the public believe things are so bad that whichever party we vote for will be obliged to cut public services to the bone and it really doesn't matter whether the knife is red or blue? In that sort of atmosphere, the old mantra "it's the economy, stupid" no longer applies and voters will start looking for other issues. My tip? Watch out for the High Speed Train.

SOON after last week's Autumn Statement, Ed Balls told the BBC: "In our manifesto there will be no plans for additional spending for infrastructure paid for by extra borrowing." Joe Rukin, campaign manager of Stop HS2, has pounced on this as proof that Labour accepts that "getting national debt down and building HS2 are two incompatible objectives." Now, you may think Rukin is getting desperate, and you may well be right. But HS2 remains deeply unpopular, especially in some leafy Tory constituencies. Back in April this year I wrote: "The General Election will be won by whoever is first to scrap HS2." With five months to go, a pledge to abandon the train could be the rabbit in the hat that puts Ed Miliband in Downing Street.

MEANWHILE, the Scottish Government's decision to lower the drink-drive limit from 80 to 50mgs means, if you are convicted in Scotland, you can be banned from driving on English roads, even though you have committed no crime under English law. The tail is wagging the dog.

I KNEW that one day I would join the 21st century but it was not until the weekend that I drove one of Messrs Volvo's horseless carriages fitted with satnav. I am puzzled. How can it be that viewing your route on a little video screen on the dashboard is considered safe and within the law but you can be nicked for eating a Mars Bar while driving for "not being in proper control of the vehicle"? The cynic in me suspects the satnav industry is rather better at lobbying politicians than the Mars Bar industry.

"LIFE is full of coincidences," declares a fellow cynic. He is a reader who, 20 minutes after querying his electricity bill on the phone, received a call from a solar-panel firm. Curiouser and curiouser.